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Excess and Feeling Disgusting
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Excess and Feeling Disgusting

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Posted by Fresh on February 18, 2002 at 11:46:19:

I indulge myself to excess. I feel sick and disgusting. I need to feel fresh. I wash myself and have a fresh start. I follow the path of sacrifice. I delay instant gratification. i strengthen my body and will with sacrifice. I feel like a rock. Then life causes me anxiety and I indulge myself again in order to escape the pain, boredom, anxiety, sense of incompletion. Sometimes my indulgence is satisfying. But other times I feel sick and disgusting, and I need to wash and feel fresh again. At times, I don't have the energy to make a fresh start and I become frozen, feeling sick and disgusting and held down. I feel this way until I am ablt to wash again. Then, to my surprise, I feel better again.

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