Posted by Aweekleft (22.214.171.124) on September 19, 2003 at 02:05:37:
In Reply to: Re: Quick suicide question posted by Evel Knievel (126.96.36.199) on September 19, 2003 at 00:13:03:
Actually you're right. The car is a bad idea for that very reason. When I first came up with that plan I didn't really care if they found out (family) as they are part of the reason I decided to do this anyway but I need to simply disapear. There either needs to be no way to identify my body (total decimation of my head, dental records) or simply have no body found. Actually, it's pretty simple. I just figured out a foolproof way. No need to elaborate.
I assure you E.K., my intent is for real. I do go back and forth internally but the back always wins. It's the last thing I think about when I go to sleep regardless of trying to put it out of my head. There's something working on an unconcience level where my mind puts it in my head as I'm waking in the morning. It's not so bad during the day but I know what's coming at night. I wake up sobbing quite often (which is a new development, last few months or so, it's some of the worst part of this). I simply can't live like this. I don't put much stock in therapy as I've experienced nothing but overpaid jokers. Some have good intentions yet are ineffective, others just want that $150 an hour. It's simple lonelyness/lack of any type of love whatsoever. I've always been kinda messed up that way. I'm almost 33 and I've been trying to work on this ever since I recognized it in my life in my early 20's. It's only gotten much, much, worse. I don't want pity, or any 'awwwww. poor baby'. I simply want death. I'm becoming bitter, desperate, and dangerious. Sure, I could take prozac for the rest of my life, but I choose not to. It's a false life. I'd rather live no life than a fake one.
> Go to India, then snuff yourself. Your friends and family will just think you're over there living a new life. And make sure you hide yourself well, where nobody would ever look. If you're found and can be identified, your family is bound to be informed. You want to drive your car off a cliff? That's a most unsubtle method, increasing your chances of being discovered. Even if you don't carry your ID at the time, the car could be traced to you. I believe you're joking. What a hare-brained idea.
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