Baron & Wagele - Are You My Type, Am I yours?

The Observer (the Five)

Observers rely on their own resources and find safety in knowledge and/or withdrawing.

Self-Preservation Fives: "My Home is My Castle"

  • I need to live in a private place where I can comcentrate; I want no expectations, intrusions, demands, questions, coercion, or noise.
  • I try to keep my life simple.
  • The more time I spend with people, the more drained I become.
  • It would bog me down to have a lot of belongings; I need easy access to books and other information though.
  • I have a tendency to save; I protect both my time and my money.
  • I am self-reliant; it rarely occurs to me to seek help or advice.
  • I dislike owing or being owed anything.

Some of the most introverted of all the nine types are of this subtype.

Relational Fives: "Confidences"

  • My close relationships often involve sharing secrets such as inside information with a colleague, a piece of forbidden knowledge about someone, or a made-up language with a friend or lover.
  • Keeping things to myself can give me a feeling of excitement and power; I have taken revenge by not telling something that I knew people wanted to know.
  • I don't want my partner to discuss our relationship or private business without consulting me first.
  • I like to have interesting conversations, although I rarely initiate them with people I don't know; as a thinking type, I tend to discuss logistics, scientific matters, or mechanics; as a feeling type, I am more likely to discuss literature, the arts, or psychology.
  • I especially value the people I know who respect my boundaries.
  • I know I look aloof, but I'm often very involved with what is going on as an observer. I find this more comfortable than having to be a part of the action, where I might feel inadequate or put on the spot.
  • Expressing my feelings sensually is very important to me, because this gets me out of my head and into my body.
  • When I'm alone with my feelings, they seem quite clear; but when I try to express them to my partner and close friends, I can't find the right words.

Social Fives: "Recognition and Hierarchy"

  • I prefer to work in a flexible, unstructured way and to set my own goals.
  • I like either to be self-employed or to have a safe nook in the hierarchy of a university or company where I can be relatively autonomous.
  • Rules and regulations often get in my way.
  • When I do high-quality work, I like praise from people who matter to me, but I don't usually ask for it.
  • Either I attend meetings in order to pick up knowledge and meet interesting people, or I avoid groups and organizations altogether.
  • As an extrovert, I like overt attention for my ideas and contributions, As an introvert, I am usually satisfied by having my work known and my name respected but am embarrassed by showy accolades.
  • I love to dig out information and find out what the experts in my field, and in other fields, have to say.

Social Fives usually appear more extroverted than other Fives.

Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele

Are You My Type, Am I Yours?
Relationships Made Easy Through the Enneagram
HarperSanFrancisco, 1995, 184 pages