Palmer - The Pocket Enneagram

Point Eight: The Boss

The world is an unjust place. I defend the innocent.

What helps a Boss

  • Allow others to initiate. Learn to wait and to listen before acting.
  • Note that a desire to escalate the action, stir up controversy, or polarize a conversation may be a sign of rising insecurity.
  • Identify boredom or disinterest as a possible mask for vulnerable feelings.
  • Focus on the equally valid logic of other people's behavior. See the consistency within other points of view.
  • See that confrontation and physical excess can cover actual feelings.
  • Note that real feelings can begin with depression. Reframe "weaker" feelings as a sign of progress.
  • Realize that a preoccupation with justice, protection, and control often polarizes others into being friends or foes.
  • Remember to write down insights as they occur. Work against pervasive forgetting. Review insights to combat denial.
  • Learn to channel anger. Both the suppression and the expression of anger can have negative consequences.
  • Learn that compromise doesn't mean "quit."

Helen Palmer

The Pocket Enneagram:
Understanding the 9 Types of People
Harper & Row, 1988, 90 pages