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Point One: The Perfectionist
One in Love
Living with Ones:
- Do remember details. Ones are detail conscious. They appreciate small
gestures: being on time, remembering names, proper introductions.
- Speak respectfully. Make sure no one looks foolish. Ask for permission.
- Compliment thrift, effort, and dependability. Don't expect compliments
in return.
- Cultivate your character. Set improvement goals. Don't flaunt your
achievements.
- Admit error immediately. Admission clears the air and prevents resentment.
- Bring novelty and fun to relating. Ones tend to repeat the known.
- Avoid power struggles. Ones need to be right. There are at least two
right ways.
- Maintain your own interests. Ones work long hours on their own.
- Humor is especially helpful. Worry vanishes with gentle humor.
- Ones perfect relationships. "What are our responsibilitites?"
"What are we learning?" "What does right relating mean?"
Ethics of relating are reviewed.
- Scorched-earth policy. If the relationship develops a negative aspect,
Ones think about calling the whole thing off. Relationships seem either
black or white.
- Once committed and convinced, Ones dig in. Extremely loyal. Value a
family.
- Guilt. Pleasure signals anxiety: lightning may strike if we're having
fun.
One at Work
In the Workplace:
- Likes specific guidelines and schedules. Loopholes are traumatic.
- Practical. Reshapes abstract approaches into step-by-step procedures.
- Likes schedules and accountability, knowing who's responsible for what.
- Keeps track of detail.
- Energy that could go to product may be diverted to details.
- Looks for evidence of ethical character -- discipline, manners,
appearance,
respect.
- Prefers doing over feeling. Wants to focus on work rather than work
relationships.
- Aware of critical points about a program but has a hard time proposing
broad solutions. Too much room for error.
- Secure in a formal role. Wants to respect hierarchy and authority.
- Aware of the resume and the record. "Good people have a good
history."
- Devoted to work for its own sake. Takes pleasure in a job well done.
- Works hard for the right cause, for the good leader, for the competent
team.
- Compares own effort to others'. "If they work, I work. If they
don't, I won't."
- Keeps score. Notes what others do right and wrong. Will defend others
if they're in "the right." Airs the grudge list if they're in
the wrong.
- Can mask sense of personal entitlement by working for a good cause.
"I deserve respect and special treatment because I do good in the
world."
- Wants rewards for effort and competence but will not ask. May displace
resentment over nonrecognition onto details and petty interactions.
Legitimizes
hurt feelings by finding fault with others.
- Finds it hard to delegate responsibility. Worries about getting the
job done right.
- Doesn't want to be compromised by the mistakes of others. Will hold
a loner's stance until the source of error is assigned.
- Afraid to be wrong. Prone to power struggles and arguments about who's
right.
- Shifts blame. "There was a reason," "It wasn't my
fault."
- Avoids risk. Risk leads to mistakes. When in doubt, wait. Don't take
chances.
- Strong advocate for those who work under a disadvantage or who improve
as a result of personal effort.
Helen Palmer
The Enneagram in Love & Work:
Understanding Your Intimate & Business Relationships
HarperSanFrancisco, 1995, 417 pages
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