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Excerpts from Enneagram Books
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Palmer -
The Pocket Enneagram
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Point Nine: The Mediator
Worldview
My efforts won't matter. Don't make waves. Keep the peace.
What helps Mediators
- Notice when others become the referent for action. "Do I agree
or disagree with them?" "Do I go along with them or not?"
- Use deadlines, structure, and positive feedback to support personal
goals.
- Learn to shift attention when obsessive thought about the pros and
cons of a decision take over.
- Focus on feelings when obsessive thinking begins. Ask, "What do
I want?" instead of "What do others want?"
- Learn to recognize the signals of passive aggression. Nines control
by slowing down and refusing to act. Recognize this passivity as anger.
- See anger as good news in disguise. Anger can reveal a previously
submerged
position.
- Nines decide more easily when they're given choices. They know what
they don't want more readily than what they do want.
- Find the feelings that are numbed by inessentials such as TV, errands,
and other ways of postponing action.
Helen Palmer
The Pocket Enneagram:
Understanding the 9 Types of People
Harper & Row, 1988, 90 pages
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