Posted by Dee (22.214.171.124) on September 14, 2003 at 17:22:42:
In Reply to: Re: The Inverted Narcissist posted by The4Blob (126.96.36.199) on September 11, 2003 at 13:18:33:
> there's another type mentioned -- "the hypervigilant narcissist" (a.k.a. covert). I think that corresponds to the compensatory narcissist.
> The other type here, the inverted narcissist, isn't a narcissist at all but rather a hole of a person (codependent) who tries to fill the hole with someone else's narcissism.
> As an enneagram Type 4/3 and an introvert, I believe I am a mild compensatory -- covert -- hypervigilant narcissist. That's why I absolutely FLIP when I have done something absolutely outstanding by my own standards but am rejected/ignored/not recognized by others. It goes to the core hurt of the unfair way I was treated in high school, even as I got the top test scores in the class and was constantly recognized by the teachers, the other students treated me like a leper. So I thought I was repulsive, then, in college, I suddenly "bloomed" (hair styled, contact lenses, clear skin, makeup, and breasts) and I was treated as quite normal by my college classmates and asked out by a lot of guys. That's when I developed the compensatory narcissist traits -- It was a flash of insight that has stayed with me for the past 21 years, that I'M not the problem -- YOU are. I have to guard against losing touch with reality because I know that sometimes I AM the problem . . . but not to the degree to call for the kind of stigmatization I received at my high school.
> Hey, I had no right to post all of this autobiographical stuff -- that's a Four for you!
4's have to let it out in order to be successful. Well done!
Dee : )
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