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Re: FOUR: Escaping--ANY HEALTHY FOURS??-to Michelle

Re: FOUR: Escaping--ANY HEALTHY FOURS??-to Michelle

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Posted by Jess on June 05, 1998 at 20:57:17:

In Reply to: Re: FOUR: Escaping the Despair, plus ANY HEALTHY FOURS?? posted by Michelle on June 05, 1998 at 18:50:14:

:Hi Micelle...thanks for your response...I have to say I have no idea what a "Healthy Four" looks like....I would LOVE to know!!!!!......in my semi-depressed mental state right now I have to question whether "healthy four" is just a complete Oxy-moron or what.....If I had the answers, the magic wand to "okay" myself, I would certainly have done it by now and waved it at every other Four hangin' out on this website......

Just to indulge a bit in some wallowing and self-pity and whining..., it is often hard to read the description of Fours in many of the Enneagram excerpts...its not that they don't apply to me...because they do.....its just that it makes me feel like "well, your destined for psychological trama/drama for the rest of your life...better develop your artistic talent (for me its writing) soon or you'll really be dangling in the abyss without a net.......I do feel like the description of Fours is often simply totally negative.....

Oh yeah..about the Seven pursuing you....my boyfriend loves me, in fact, he loves me, feels compelled towards me precisely because of my fourness...we are SO different, but do love each other and are working on communication...personally, I think I need his Seveness in my life...he just has so much energy and enthusiasm, and it helps pull me out of funks....but he is so classic Seven in that he will change the conversation after too much "feeling" talk..its like that is a drain on him, and he has to jump to something "lighter"....I have to learn to not take it personally....Sevens are great casual partners, though...if you can handle that, then go for it...if you always eventually need something deeper (as I do), then enter with caution...my boyfriend hurt me deeply (trust issue) and I always knew it was a possiblity....I am still with him because I felt the betrayal came from his own "woundness"... and you know how us Four love to see the pain in others......so I think we are great for each other, in terms of working on our intimacy issues....but his seven-ness does often, .because of how different our defensive styles are......

Good luck, Michelle....keep posting.....

Jess

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: :Hi Micelle...thanks for your response...I have to say I have no idea what a "Healthy Four" looks like....I would LOVE to know!!!!!......in my semi-depressed mental state right now I have to question whether "healthy four" is just a complete Oxy-moron or what.....If I had the answers, the magic wand to "okay" myself, I would certainly have done it by now and waved it at every other Four hangin' out on this website...... : Just to indulge a bit in some wallowing and self-pity and whining..., it is often hard to read the description of Fours in many of the Enneagram excerpts...its not that they don't apply to me...because they do.....its just that it makes me feel like "well, your destined for psychological trama/drama for the rest of your life...better develop your artistic talent (for me its writing) soon or you'll really be dangling in the abyss without a net.......I do feel like the description of Fours is often simply totally negative..... : Oh yeah..about the Seven pursuing you....my boyfriend loves me, in fact, he loves me, feels compelled towards me precisely because of my fourness...we are SO different, but do love each other and are working on communication...personally, I think I need his Seveness in my life...he just has so much energy and enthusiasm, and it helps pull me out of funks....but he is so classic Seven in that he will change the conversation after too much "feeling" talk..its like that is a drain on him, and he has to jump to something "lighter"....I have to learn to not take it personally....Sevens are great casual partners, though...if you can handle that, then go for it...if you always eventually need something deeper (as I do), then enter with caution...my boyfriend hurt me deeply (trust issue) and I always knew it was a possiblity....I am still with him because I felt the betrayal came from his own "woundness"... and you know how us Four love to see the pain in others......so I think we are great for each other, in terms of working on our intimacy issues....but his seven-ness does often, .because of how different our defensive styles are...... : Good luck, Michelle....keep posting..... : Jess

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