Posted by Flower Pagan (126.96.36.199) on February 11, 2003 at 13:52:53:
In Reply to: i really sympathized you posted by jack (188.8.131.52) on February 09, 2003 at 20:49:05:
> your situation were just like mine.i haven't talked to her for 6 years ago.
> however,the hell is that i still have to live with her.i couldn't get out and live on my own,because of financial, and even harder emotional problem.
> FP,HOW COULD YOU GET OUT OF IT EMOTIONALLY?
> I HEARD THAT WOMAN OR EVEN MAN WHO DIVORCED THEIR PARENTS
> GONNA HAVE AN EMOTIONAL PLOBLEM HARDLY.
> PS.THANKS FOR LINK
FP: I just don't pick up the phone to call her anymore, just like I don't respond to K.B.'s posts anymore. She lied to me too many times and have hurt me with those lies, this time, she broke the law lying to me. I am glad nobody got caught by the law for my sake. I don't trust her anymore. I don't stay naive forever. I see no sense in communicating with people who are liars because there is no trust there, especially if I tried to resolve the issue.
FP: I still love my mother very much and only wish her a good life. She just have to have a good life without me being a part of it. That's all. I am going to write a letter to her, so she will understand why I am not communicating with her. I always believe in being fair, even if other people are not fair. It is my values.
FP: You live with your mother, which is not very easy at all. Just make sure you work on finding a way to get out of your mother's house and move on with your life. Focus on your own happiness and personal growth, so you can be happy and have peace. Don't hate her because you can't have peace and hate in the same heart. Hate is murder in the heart. I hate Bush trying to go into war with Iraq, but I don't hate Bush at all.
FP: How did I get out emotionally? Years ago, I stood my ground to her for a change and stop being afraid of her when I was about 30. She is used to me being easy going and sensative, but I wanted to show her that I am strong. She always preached to me "Only the strong survive, and I am one of the strongest". I want her to know that I am strong too. I was not afraid to tell her that she lied to me. It helped not to be in the same part state. ha, ha, ha.
FP: Focus on your personal growth. Physical exercise and get regular sleep is recommended by Don Richard Riso and Russ Hudson, which will help you to gain more strength to stand up to your mother and value your own happiness and self-worth more. When I exercise, I find myself more productive! Different personality groups have different needs to better themselves.
FP: Please, don't use your good energy in hating her. Your happiness is more important than hating her, so focus your energy to make a better life for yourself by strive on finding ways of getting emotionally healthy, so you will be able to find your way living somewhere else and be very happy. Continue to share your feelings and gain support from others, including type Fours.
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