Posted by Flower Pagan (188.8.131.52) on March 11, 2003 at 02:39:01:
In Reply to: Really Honest posted by emoot(: (184.108.40.206) on March 10, 2003 at 11:45:57:
> Honesty is a basic for relationships of any kind. It's a foundation pedestal for humanity. Without that support, things remain in one place.... on the ground. The attempts to keep building a community continue but they can't be built to last.
FP: I agree with you! I am honest and genuine, though I am more expressive on the internet than I am in person. It is easier to get to know me from the inside over the internet, then in person, at first in many cases because I will open up more over the internet and with more ease, regardless of my personable outgoing persona in person. If I feel like withdrawing, I am already doing that behind the monitor. :o)
> Maybe that's why the board has such a difficult time staying consistent. It is in a constant state of rebuilding.
FP: When people's posts get deleted, even the one I wrote in support of Becca, how could you have consistancy? The lack of stability kinds of bothers me and doesn't feel like my online home as much as it did before. I have to admit, I am still surprised your post is still on the board and not deleted because honestly doesn't seem to be acceptable. I am not going to change who I am to accommendate this board when I could go to other places that appreciates my honesty and my humanitarian views. I appreciate who you are.
> I realize that the internet is about the last place on earth that one can expect to find honesty(or real friends) because of this lack of accountability. Too, there is a safety limit to how honest one can be in such a highly public atmosphere. I suppose part of it requires a healthy dose of common sense and moderate expectation. (I know I have expected way too much from it at times,as for myself, being so idealistically inclined.)
FP: I have found real friends from the Internet and the best boyfriend that I ever have, though I don't like when he fuss and yells at me. I think hunger affects him that way, though his feelings are valid. LOL
> I think people crave authenticity even when the circumstances for it aren't accomodating. People naturally want to know that what they are hearing is the truth. The main reason is that truth is the only thing that has value. You can't value a lie. It leaves an acidic odor of betrayal in the air.
FP: I like how you think, and I can relate to how you think very much! I hope you don't change. I would love to have someone like you as a friend!
> It is sort of a paradox, really. If people are presented with a situation where they are allowed express themselves anonymously, it seems many are inclined to make up a big whopping story about themselves to make their lives sound more interesting. In psychological realms that would be called avoidance of the truth or denial. knowing the truth about yourself is probably the hardest pill to swallow but, again, it is the only thing really worth knowing about yourself. You cant move forward to a more healthful place without it.
FP: I agree with you, Emoot. "You may know the truth and the truth shall set you free" It is a principle that can apply to other parts of life, and I think Dr. Phil stands by that principle in his approach in helping people and so did I. I found it to be more effective when done correctly. I can't understand why people just won't get real with themselves and with us and enjoy a real authentic connection.
FP: The internet seems to cause people to live in illusion, instead of being real with themselves and with others. Sometimes, people's perception of reality is negative, so they escape into the fantasy world to compensate for what their lives lack. You should see what people go through with Internet dating, with many disappointing stories of what appears to be so on the internet does not match with what is actual in real life. People don't always have to have cyberspace to be this way. I have been fortunate to meet real people over cyberspace, even from the 9types board who I enjoy communicating with.
> So, I guess what I am saying is that if we continue to post on here....maybe it would do us all some good to be as honest as we (safely) can. I mean, because isn't the point of posting on here supposed to be about learning new things, exchanging ideas and understanding one another's opinions and points view?
FP: Unfortunately, some people aren't ready for that or don't know how to handle that. I agree with you. It doesn't seem safe to speak honestly without getting your post deleted, even if you did not say anything mean about anybody or to anybody. I guess, having my own Enneagram group gives me more of a stable situation, and where I can exercise my beliefs of diplomacy, fairness and doing the right thing more freely. Maybe, I should turn it to a Christian board where those principles would be more acceptable. LOL
FP: Do you have any ideas? I wish I could turn it to an Enneagram resource centers because I have links to a lot of Enneagram sites and links to list of Enneagram groups and sites, including the 9types board link is in there also. I wonder should I put Rebecca's whole name on there, like I do with other websites.
> Do you think this kind of thing is possible or are we doomed to continually rebuild?
FP: I wonder about the same thing. Maybe, I need to spend more time reading Apologetics and History. I feel I have so much to rediscover, like a baby back on milk. Emoot, if you want a sincere friendship, I am open to that. I am almost ready to respond to you because I wasn't ready before. I have some good news for you.
FP: "Sincerely" emoot(:
Check out the link. Have you ever heard of this family? I saw them on Oprah today. I have to keep my eye out for the concerts and hope they will come here. They will be on TV and will have an opportunity to share the light with the rest of the world, like Joseph did before a whole kingdom, I hope. If you saw the effect that they had on Oprah today, you will see why I am convince they will inspire the world. Oprah shocked me today with her praises! I never heard her talk like that before!
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