Posted by Goatman (18.104.22.168) on March 11, 2003 at 13:53:53:
Emoot when I was reading your post something really struck me. I really agree with everything you are saying and I too value honesty. For me, authenticity is necessary always. Some would disagree with you though. What about saying someone's 'looks great' even when you don't think they do? What about saying thank you even when you don't mean it? I realize these are small examples, but they form the basis for the larger issue. I know people who go around and are nice to people because it is 'common courtesy'. I always tell these people I think that is bullshit, that one should not tell someone something because they want to hear it. The reason 'common courtesy' works is because people naturally believe you are being honest. I have wrestled with this issue because sometimes it seems the greater good for me would have been to throw out compliments I don't really mean, but I rarely do because I feel I would violate some image of myself. I think it depends how organized and introverted one is with their emotions. I am very introverted with emotions, I think maybe it might be good for me to practice 'common courtesy' more often, but everytime I am encountered with a situation I feel like I am betraying myself by not being fully honest. I'll leave it up to you to define honesty.
Thanks, and great post emoot.
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