Posted by Flower Pagan (184.108.40.206) on March 16, 2003 at 23:53:02:
In Reply to: Re: Honesty and Etiquette (My second attempt...) posted by emoot(: (220.127.116.11) on March 15, 2003 at 10:15:39:
> > FP: Emoot, I think something is wrong with me because your post reminds me of how outgoing I was. Maybe, I still am and just have isolated myself too much to see myself this way all the time. I was so nervous going in front of the church to speak with the minister that I sware, I probably look like a flake. It was my first time speaking to a minister in a regular church in years. I only spoke with Unity Ministers and said hi to my former paster, one a year, atleast, but I don't talk with him, like I used to. It was the first time, it felt natural for me to be in a regular church, and I don't know if that means I made it back in to stay or it is just a phase (visit). I wanted to thank the minister for his message because it was beneficial to me. I am reading an apologetic book on the Trinity and another one on church history. I already read one on the Bible. Do you know anything about Calvary Chapel?
> = FP, you are probably not feeling as outgoing as you used to feel because you are in a new location. When I was first married I moved to a new city and knew no one(I guess I thought it wouldn't be that hard because I made friends fairly easily in college but then I forgot that in college you kinda get automatic friends because you have to live with people who are all in the same situation you are...friendships and connections are readily available there),
FP: Thanks for relating to me and helping me to see the situation is very different. I guess, I am not as extroverted as I appear. LOL I admit, I don't want to make the wrong choices in friendships, either.
> Anyway, it was very hard on my introverted self in this new town... the only friends I had were at work, we were only in that town for two years and we didn't have enough time to establish a strong church connection. Then we moved again to another state and our first home had no near by neighbors, plus, I had to commute to another town for my job so I barely even felt like I lived in the town my home was in. And on top of that my husband and I couldn't seem to find a church to settle on....we kept switching every couple of months.
FP: Wow! I am at the stage that I am looking for a church. The Crystal Cathedral is nice but it is way too far in another state. LOL
> And I can't make friends that easily unless I see people often enough to get passed my initial introversion wall, which takes a good solid four to six months. I was really missing friendships in my life and feeling very isolated. I was beginning to think that I might not ever have friends again.
FP: I almost started to feel that way about my sociability. I went out on my birthday and had a nice time hanging out at Calvery Chapel, since I had no other place to go that I was familiar with other than the mall. I end up going out to eat with them afterwards. I have to admit, I don't relate to fear and guilt that churches use in their talk about heaven and hell. I find that I respond to sermons that motivates us to come to God in love and faith. Calvery Chapel appeals to my intellect in Apologetics, but I need a church that appeals to my heart and motivates me to draw closer to the Loving Living Jesus who came to set us free from bondage that binds us.
FP: I don't believe in putting any pressure on people to decide because I believe it must be a conviction in their heart, like I feel when I heard a minister from California (http://www.westa.org) read and spoke about 1 Corinthians 15, which I will read in my personal study and respond to it. Billy Graham made me realized calling myself a closet Christian is not funny anymore. Listening to him made me feel like I don't need this apologetic understanding to make a decision. I felt like letting go my fear of being intellectually right and just follow my heart to the alter. Crystal Cathral is so positive that it makes you want to come to God and receive the practical solution for positive living in HIS word.
> Anyway we kept searching and finally we found this good sized church with about 4,000 people attending each Sunday. It is a community church and it is a very laid back atmosphere,contemporary, teaching church. We decided to go there after about five or six visits. It was alot different from the church I grew up with but I agreed with everything they were teaching. It was like everything I already believed but more motivated toward life application. SO that was really cool. All this time I had been praying for friends and after just one year and connecting with other people near my age....I found some very dear friends. I even found some fourish friends..... (:
FP: That sounds like a good church if you have fourish friends who are happy in that church. I wonder is your church similar to Calvery Chapel? How is your church different from Calvery Chapel if you don't mind me asking? Calvery is into comptemporary Christian music also. I guess, I am weird, but I actually like hymns and praise songs without having the sound of a rock band. If I can have an intense orchestra who can match the intensity of Mozart and Italian composers, I will love it. Ha, ha, ha. Music is very special to me and a part of who I am.
FP: I went to a church called "Trinity International", a church Joyce Meyers visit every year. I was not feeling well one day when I went with my friend who needed to visit a church for her paper for class. I felt worst after listening to their music for about 5 to 10 minutes, and my friend was happy to leave too. ha, ha, ha. I thought that music was too comptempary and lack the swaying melody that you hear in praise worship songs. Some people can handle a church like that, but I am not one of them. If my friend was a 7 or an 8, she would probably want to stay longer. I like Joyce Meyers sermons, but I can't handle their music! It is void of peace. It lack the trait of type 9. LOL
FP: I miss hearing Bible songs, like Phil 4:4, 1 JOhn 4: 7, 8 (Love One Another), and orchestrated songs like "He reign that he is the only majesty, let the mountains and the hills rejoice, he is Lord, King and Master, yet he hears my tiny voice, praise the Lord, Praise the Lord."... Walter Arties (unknown to most people) sings that song. I like fast songs without sacrificing the beauty in one's voice, like they do in Opera, but it does not have to be Opera. I want to find a church that preach the Gospel (Good News), where I can sing and use my talents for the Lord, and can bring people to church and they would see the Love of God there. I am looking for a church that would appeal to the Beloved John who wrote 1 John 4: 7, 8. Do you have any suggestions?
> Now, I feel more like my old self. I'm involved with the church, community, and my( we moved into a new house) neighborhood. It's amazing how much I have grown.... my husband and are even leading a study group.
FP: Thanks for the encouraging words of hope! I want to sing in the choir again and lift my voice up for the LORD. If I stay at Calvary Chapel, I don't see how that is going to happen, unless, I give up my identity of style of music and try to conform to their style, just to fit in. I don't want to do that to myself because I want to be who I am. Jamming to Rock music is not really my style of worship, though it does make me want to dance because those electric guitars have that effect on me for about 5 minutes. LOL
FP: I tried to find some music CDs from Chavery Chapel bookstore. I even sing and gave a demonstration of what I like, and they don't seem to understand my world of music outside of Christian PoP music. I know I don't sing no where near Rebecca St. James style of music. I know their book store is not the place for me to find Christian music, outside of Celtic, perhaps. I like people like Andrea Bocelli, Charlotte Church, Josh Groban, Sarah Brightman, and Rogers and Hammerstein musicals for an example. I even though Bing Cosby sing pretty about 2 weeks ago on the classic movie that I have seen many times when I was younger: "Bells of St. Mary's". I know I have weird taste, but I value the aesthetics in music very much, as I do my environment and overall taste in beauty. I am not a type 4. I found out this aesthetics comes from my one wing based on what Riso wrote. Martha Stewart is a type One and she is into it more so than I am with perfection that made me cry once, when I was at my stress point.
> I know a little bit about it Calvary. There is one here in my town although I have not visited. I looked at their website and read through some of their basic beliefs and teachings. It looks to me like they are doing a very good thing. It looks like their emphasis is on personal growth, acceptance, and purpose.... that's gotta be good.
FP: Calvary Chapel seems to have a lot of nice people in their church. Two of them gave me a book that I saw in the book store. I mentioned one below and the other one is "30 Days To Understanding The Bible in 15 Minutes A Day! by Max Anders (never heard of him).
> Since you listed some of the things you are reading, I have another very good reccomendation for you... that really helped me.. figure some things out.... It is called ... " The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. Amazon.com has it. This book was good for me because you only had to read about five pages a day and with my attention span that worked out well for me. (:
FP: Thanks for the recommendation. My attention spand can be short too, but when I get into my serious Bible Studie, it can take hours, depending on how much I want to cover that one word or subject of my interest. Right now, I am evaluation the Trinity. I think apologetics is fascinating.
FP: I have read the first chapter and the first page of the 2nd chapter. I also read the reviews. I agree with the first guy who says the book is best for high schoolers, new christians and non-Christians, etc... It seems like it is very direct. This sounds like the type of person who would think it is a waste of time messing around with Enneagram books. That scares me, a little. LOL I may read it as a break away from the apologetics. Light reading is good for me too, I suppose.
FP: It does puzzle me in how he uses 25 Bible translations and tried to fit the Bible to saying what he want it to say, in some cases. One of the people who read his book corrected one of his use of a particular Bible verse. I found it amazing that Max Lucado, Billy Graham and Franklin Graham, and Lee Strobel are endorsing his book, which is impressive. I like these guys. I have Max Lucado's Bible and a book about Christ. I can't find it right now, unfortunately, now that I am almost ready to read it. I have Lee Strobel book "The Case for the Faith". I have not started yet because I am still reading my other books concerning the apologetics of the Triniy. I got me "The New Strong Exhaustive Concordance" for less than $20 (a birthday present for me) and the book is worth $35- $40. Wow! I always wanted one of those huge ones, now I have one. (smiling). Strobel's book is a birthday present from God through one of the guys from Calvery Chapel. :o)
> > Flower Pagan
> > FP: Worshipper of the creator of the flowers and beauty!
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