Posted by froggyTheFrog (188.8.131.52) on March 26, 2003 at 19:01:15:
In Reply to: Re: my god, what has happened to me? posted by Margaret (184.108.40.206) on March 25, 2003 at 14:52:47:
> Froggy, I am in a nightmare that has went from bad to worse.
Sorry I waited so long to answer you. I have been considering what exactly I should tell you. It seems that you have been experiencing a shock similar to a recent shock of mine on a much bigger scale. This might seem like a big nightmare, but there are still good things in your life. Now, would probably be a good time to think of three good things in your life, and write them down. The purpose of doing that is to rescue your perspective on life. As P said, a lot of how this affects you is your perception of the matter.
Do you know what you want out of life, Margaret, or are you wandering? There is one really good thing about you that will help you out of your current situation a great deal. You have demonstrated you have the ability to change things. You've uprooted yourself and brought yourself to where you are now. Rather than totally uprooting yourself this time, how baout changing one aspect of your life at a time, and giving yourself time to adapt? For example, which is the greater evil to you in your life? The place you live or your job? Are there other places for rent in your area? Are there other possible jobs in your area? Try to make smaller transitions that probably won't be "perfect", but that might improve your situation. As you make these transitions, try to keep the good parts of your life in your perspective too. At the same time, try to clearly define what you want where you can. If you are like me, there is really no way to figure out your life plan (and I don't really want to). But it would be nice to know what your expectations really are (and not be caught in the trap of "more", "better", and "faster" -- where you will always be dissatisfied), and how you are trying to meet those expectations. Also, realize that you're not going to get what you want in one foul swoop. You need to set milestones, and give yourself a lot of credit when you reach them. You've demonstrated you're not a failure at all by your ability to change. We're only failures when it is all over, and it is not all over.
I hope that this helps. In a nutshell, "Keep a positive outlook". It makes a lot more difference than most people give it credit for.
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