Posted by Justin (184.108.40.206) on April 15, 2003 at 23:36:31:
In Reply to: Re: What is the meaning of life? posted by Jenny (220.127.116.11) on April 15, 2003 at 23:01:34:
Thank you Jenny, it does make me feel alive to hear your caring words. The progress of healing and forgeting which you mention here most probably works too. But it is the process that is really a problem is it not? as for me, I really cannot see an end to this agonising pain I have to go through each day. I have come to examien the possibility perhaps what drives me is surges of emotions. The sensation of downs and ups which cause me to feel alive, just like the words you typed which made me sense care- an emotion. The problem which lies in emotions as driving forces of life though I guess, is in the threshold for sensation increases with the number of exposure to the stimuli does it not? And where forth will I find unending levels of emotions that will always keep me stimulated? And how will the process of being driven by emotions ITSELF not run out of be desensitised over time? (I have come to know myself as a person who changes alot and grows tired of things with time). What then will me reason to life/ meaning to live be?
With regards to depression. That a very interesting matter to me. I do not throw the possibility of that out, in spite of the break up having been a year ago. (People who ARE depressed never acknowledge they are, and by saying that, it doesn't make my case any less complicated as my subconscious self may just be bringing out the admitence of this fact to decrease the possibility of me being perceived as being depressed; i.e.: perhaps some part of me defines ego and does not want to be knowned as being depressed and hence will say things to avoid being detected as being depressed). Anyway, ignore this paragraph... just one of my ironic ways of seeing things.
What I really appreciated about your words, was is reminded me, that one day (maybe), I will get over all these shit talk I am making you guys listen to (voluntary or not)... and look back and say- yes, it was beautiful.
Dear Jenny, thank you for being type 4/ partially type 4 (I presume 5w 4w means something in technical terms). The world is a much better place with 4s.
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