Tests  Types  Diagrams  Books  Forums  Enneagram Relationships  What's hot now  Search
Main | Type 4 | Type 5 | Movie | Care | Chat

Enneagram Type 4 Board Archive

The Illusion of Love
[ Boards: Main, Type4, Type5, Movie, Care, Chat ][ Top 10 ] [ HOME ]

The Illusion of Love


[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Type 4 Message Board ]

Posted by Casualty (63.190.112.10) on April 16, 2003 at 22:18:49:

In Reply to: old relationships posted by just wondering (203.220.82.46) on April 15, 2003 at 08:08:53:

Hi. Life has its challenges and yours is a major one, although not an
insurmountable one. I had a relationship with an incest survivor who was
also a four. I also am a friend of an woman who is a three and an incest
survivor. My general observation is that "recovery" is the first priority
for a person that recognizes abuse in her/his history. Taking care of one's own self is job number one! That means therapy and support groups.
Relationships come later; history and trust are integral components of
any relationship. Learning anew proper boundaries is a major step in
emerging from abuse. Unfortunately, "Love" is often experienced as a
(partial) loss of boundaries. Victims of abuse have an additional
burden when navigating boundaries in personal relations. For fours,
passion is paramount; unfortunately, it may lead to a recapitulation
of abuse until the dynamics are understood and a support system is
in place. Many lovers will prove unable to accept the challenge. Several
books discuss this topic. I will merely say that love is "out there," and
it may not match your initial expectations. Keep hope alive; focus on your
own needs. I wish you well.


Follow Ups:



Post a Followup

Name:
E-Mail:

Subject:

Comments:

Optional Link URL:
Link Title:
Optional Image URL:


[ Follow Ups ] [ Post Followup ] [ Type 4 Message Board ] [ FAQ ]
type4board/messages/32894.html