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Posted by emoot(: (66.250.68.40) on April 26, 2003 at 10:04:01:

In Reply to: Re: type 4s and social anxiety posted by Rho (24.61.40.6) on April 23, 2003 at 21:44:06:

> I have a different spin - I'm can be quite good in some social situations - its actually a defensive thing, keep people laffing, & they'll never get to the real you.

> My otherness/unworthiness/damage thing comes in in romantice intimacy. Its the one thing I really can't handle & the closer I get to somone, the more I want to retreat.

You just made something click in my brain.... (Excuse me for inserting this textbook definition of intimacy but I am putting it here to clarirfy my question to you)

- Intimacy is the ability to give oneself to another without fear, and to be able to openly and freely accept the other person's gift of self in return. Trouble in forming intimacy can be fueled by fear of relationship failure or other types of failures which have added up over time. Also it could be fear of not meeting the expectations of others...guilt, shame and anger often come along with these fears.

Do you know where your unworthiness comes from? Are you experiencing guilt, shame or anger?

sincerely,
emoot (I don't mean to be nosy but my armchair psychiatrist wants to probe- and actually I think I may have an answer or two.)



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