Posted by emoot (18.104.22.168) on April 28, 2003 at 07:24:48:
In Reply to: Re: Locating a source posted by Rho (22.214.171.124) on April 27, 2003 at 13:41:51:
> > - Intimacy is the ability to give oneself to another without fear, and to be able to openly and freely accept the other person's gift of self in return. Trouble in forming intimacy can be fueled by fear of relationship failure or other types of failures which have added up over time. Also it could be fear of not meeting the expectations of others...guilt, shame and anger often come along with these fears.
> > Do you know where your unworthiness comes from? Are you experiencing guilt, shame or anger?
> Its not guilt. I don't have any feelings like that. Now, it may be anger, but I have problems with anger - I don't/can't express it. And I don't feel strongly like it could be shame, but there could be some of that. I definately have problems relating to anger. I can't stand being around it. I can't express it. I can't handle the idea of people being angry with me. *If* someone makes me angry, it is very easy for me to just turn my back on the relationship (I'm talking freinds, not lovers) and walk away. I become unable to talk when I get really angry.
= Well, I think I understand how you feel in regard to anger. Conflict and anger go hand in hand and peace loving, diplomatically inclined fours try to avoid it most of the time.
Anger seems like a foreign emotion. But in a weird kind of way, I think anger directed at us can't help but make us angry back at whoever's inflicting anger at us.... thus just dropping a person cold.
I'm supposing that anger comes out in the form of frustration in fours and it never meets quality control in the relationship arena.
Do you think because you can't express anger that maybe you stuff it inside and it never gets dealt with?
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