Posted by Minbari (126.96.36.199) on May 11, 2003 at 00:05:23:
In Reply to: going off anti-depressant posted by kathy (188.8.131.52) on May 10, 2003 at 23:32:35:
Yes. Find a trauma therapist who is good. Be sure to surround yourself with supportive people. And even then...coming off will unleash all the emotions that have been suppressed for however long and whatever reason. You will be flooded and overwhelmed. It is the most excruciating thing I've ever done. And I'm not out of the woods yet. I've been off now for a year.
On the other hand, read my entry just below yours about despair. Life seems to be hell either way. Spirals of it anyway. I believe overall I'm glad I'm off. But tonight I kinda want to be dead, so consider all choices carefully.
I think I should disappear all day tomorrow and give her space...but I don't know how to re enter and at what point. I have written this:
"I will be gone all day today. I don't know how else to give you space right now....because I have not "followed" you, I have not "waited" for you except to walk home. Whis is now suddenly a problem for you. So I'm not sure how to be in your presence. I'm not sure how to keep you from judging my motivations; and I had thought I was doing better in backing off from judging yours.... This is not a good thing to have between us. Where did it come from? How did it get here? What do we do about it? I feel like I'm walking on egg shells...."
Anyway, Kathy, I have been told it takes a great deal of courage to come off the drugs. So I have a great deal of courage. Also an inordinant amount of pain. Because I see too much, know too much, feel too much, and yet can't do a damn thing right...But I guess I'm trusting my trauma therapist to help me grow through the developmental trauma and hopefully mature from this 9-year-old stuff...
I'll also warn you, when I went to the therapist and told him what I wanted was to come off the drugs (and in fact had been coming off and also was beginning to crash from the detox...no matter what they tell you, that stuff--any of it--is addictive and not just because it is "what your system need") anyway, I told him I wanted to come off...and later, in the worst, deepest, darkest parts of the storm---and with EVERYONE begging me to go back on the drugs, even people who were hesitant about them in the first place---he would NOT permit me to because he said he was standing by his agreement to work with me to be off of them completely.
He also worked with me to know that I didn't have a mental illness or some other brain-related disease (I guess like schitzophrenia, excuse my spelling if it is incorrect). Drug detox is not something to take lightly. And my dosage was rather small in comparison...
Let me know what you decide to do....
> Hi! Is there anyone out there who has gone off anti-depressant and can give me a push to take the plunge??? I've been on cipramil before and gone off it but went on seroxat-paxil again following a severe trauma. I'm very afraid of what will happen to me when i go off. Any advice would be very helpful.
> Waiting to hear from you,
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