Posted by kathy (220.127.116.11) on May 13, 2003 at 16:18:52:
In Reply to: Re: eight/one mothers posted by Angela (18.104.22.168) on May 12, 2003 at 22:05:16:
I tried to please her and fit into the mold that she mapped out for me....it caused sooo much resentment for her because her strong need to control my life caused her to knock out my identity and for a FOUR not being able to be oneself is one of the worst things. I also find that I'm ALLERGIC to criticism - I'm just too sensitive (she was an expert at comparing me to others, saying I'm not good enough - that i'm a NOTHING.)What about caring for your emotional needs???
Does your mother have a disorder called OCPD - Obssesive Compulsive Personality Disorder?? It's a little different from the classical OCD but many ONE's suffer from it - It's holding on to one's philosophy and insisting that one's way is the ONLY RIGHT one to the exclusion of everyone's else's opinion or interpretation. I read a fantastic article on that by someone called Dr. Phillip (I think his last name was Stevenson but am not sure) You can read it by accessing the website called "www.ocdonline.com if you're interested. I found it intriguing - it described my mother exactly!!! Let me know if you read it and what you thought of it! (the title of the article is "Ocpd - a result of a defective philosophy not anxiety")
Thanks for writing back - I appreciated your response!!
p.s. I'm glad for you that you live 8 hours away - distance sure makes life much easier!
> > Isn't she SCARILY INTOLERANT??? Mine has a strong EIGHT component - which had a terrible effect on me.....How do you cope with yours??
> She can be sort of intolerant, and very critical and controlling. I guess I just learned to cope by humoring her, while never actually capitulating or following her plans for me. It was harder when I was a teenager, and she can still really effect my self-esteem, but I've sort of learned not to take too seriously the things she does. I know she has my best interests at heart, however weirdly that's expressed. Of course, maybe it also helps that I now live eight hours away. :)
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