Posted by Rho (22.214.171.124) on May 20, 2003 at 22:47:49:
I don't deal so well when a guy doesn't show real obvious interest. I met this one guy - a french singer (!) & he was calling me from France. He said he had really good memories of our time together. If I'm not getting feedback like that, does it mean the guy is really not that into me? or does it possibly mean that he doesn't show it long distance? 'Caues when were together, I get these really warm feelings from him
Anyway, I had an insight. I am expecting a guy to have a mutual feeling, right away, that we are "goin out" and that means - we are not dating anyone else, (for me being physically intimate means that). But probably for most guys that's just not the case. You only know someone a week, two weeks, three - whatever, you are not suddenly in a mini-marriage.
ANYWAY this is my long hand for me realizeing that -- as soon as I feel my self in danger of getting 'obsessive' --- I'm gonna go out & find somebody else to date. So that I won't be thinking about that one guy all the time. Whatever it takes. 'Cause the truth is, he's prolly not thining about me all the time. It just aint good for me to be doing that. And the best way to offset it is to spread that energy out. (I would replace it with my music, but - sometimes confusion & anxiety about romance knocks *everthing* else out of my head)
Buuuut there's my old problem of finding very few guys I want to be with. Maybe I'll ask out the guy at the coffe shop. He's on my short list. Under most circumstantces I wouldnt' ask a man out, but this is different. This is strategy.
(yeeeess -- I know - Kant, in his Moral Imperative or whatever it is says that above all - people are not tools. )
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