Posted by katti (22.214.171.124) on May 25, 2003 at 03:23:41:
hi to all
im 25 years old, enea type 4 ,INFP- single after being dumped after a 7 year long relationship- a year ago, now.- i ve come to a point again, when i dont even feel like getting out of bed, especially during weekends- till now, i still managed to keep my job,but am finding it extremely difficult to concentrate and finish work- i try to do other activities like crafts but i feel soo empty inside- i know that i was and most porbably am at the lowest functioning level of a four, but i feel im just wasting my life. please dont tell me to pull myself together , i have been trying to do that- have tried and am still accepting my pain, trying to get rid of my guilty -feelings (i really drove my ex crazy with all my attacks and break downs) and try to keep busy, if i have the energy.
my counsellor says i should try to find things which help me feel better and do them when i feel shitty- the fact is i feel too bad to do anything- and just blob around and scoff down food (i will add a weight problem too)i know it sounds crazy - but i enrolled to the fitness centre, went there on a regular basis for 4 months- and now stopped going as i believe i dont deserve to keep fit- i know it sound nuts. i meen i encourage others and help others, so why dont i just do something to help myself? why do i have to keep feeling i dont deserve good things? why do i think others deserve good things and i dont?
im on 'deanxit' at the moment -(anti-depressants) and my doc says i should not move on to something stronger.
any positve experiences/points/whatever are greatly appreciated. sorry for moaning - but i feel like a 25 year old future less sack of shit.
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