Posted by Rho (18.104.22.168) on May 25, 2003 at 18:38:07:
In Reply to: hi posted by katti (22.214.171.124) on May 25, 2003 at 03:23:41:
Oh god - I've been there. Especially on the weekends. Because you don't have to get up. And I wasn't *tired*. I just couldn't do anything. I had to force myself to shower.
First of all, you were in a relationship for 7 years. A lot of people can't do that. Second, you broke up when you were 24? 7 years out of 24 is *almost a third of your life*.
Why on earth shouldn't you still be mourning this after only one year?
Don't demand so much from yourself. Yes, keep trying to do things to make yourself feel better. But don't be upset with yourself if you find you don't want to do something, or can't keep it up.
ALso the fact that you have a counselor is really great. I didn't see one till I was 30. You're ahead of the game.
Finally, different relationships have differnet effects on us. I was with a guy for 2 months. Even 5 years later, he's a sensitive topic for me. Or if a person who had a long term, but light relationship might feel sad for a few months, but they might put it behind them.
It's really hard now, because we are made to feel weak if we let a man affect us that much - like - "A modern woman is stronger than that, she doesn't need a man, she doesn't live for a man". In many other cultures, people are allowed to suffer from a broken heart for years. People feel sorry for them, but they don't tell them to snap out of it.
Something else to think about is that what hurts us in addition to the loss of the individual is what that person represents to us.
Anyway, I hope I have said something useful to you. Just don't feel so bad about feeling so bad. One layer is enough!
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