Posted by Jeffrey (188.8.131.52) on May 26, 2003 at 07:22:38:
In Reply to: depressed? posted by anonymous (184.108.40.206) on May 18, 2003 at 02:37:38:
> K -- I keep wanting to go back and change things I have done in order to have what I don't have now. Like I had all the right ideas in the first place and then didn't follow 99.9% of them. This is so old, but it doesn't stop.
This is actually a characteristic of the type 4. I read this and I feel exactly the same way a lot of the time, so it was good to read others feel that way.
I first read Riso's Enneagram books around 10 years ago, and one of my regrets is that I didn't follow his advice more closely - and I fell into some of the exact unhealthy patterns he had mentioned. I didn't accomplish nearly the things I wanted to accomplish.
One characteristic of 4's is the reluctance to seek help, precicely when one needs it. I finally got into therapy several years ago and had scads of issues to go through, with my past, my family, my feelings about what I watned to do with my life.
You can only make good decisions if you are aware of you feelings and motivations. You need to weigh your wants and needs in order to make better decisions, that you hopefully won't regret later.
So my approach is twofold:
Finding a therapist that I liked. I saw several, and settled on one that I was confortable with talking about personal issues.
2. Check with your physician to see if you might need medications. With all the anti-depressant medicines available nowadays, there is no reason to have chronic depression. And if that's not the problem, fine, it can't hurt to check.
>> I don't know how to let go of the past and embrace the present/future, for numerous reasons. Like... I would have to work harder, have faith in something.. it's like I was let down or something, and what if I have faith again and find out when I am 50 that I should have been doing everything differently, because I did it all wrong. Like marriage right? Get married, and you don't have to be a spinster, but end up tied to a house in the middle of Iowa watching children all day by myself. I want excitement! But, where to find it? Is there any way out of this wanting? Or is that just who I am, pitfalls and pluses? If so how do you accept knowing you won't ever be able to accept life the way it is? <<
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