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Re: is this an insult? please help
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Re: is this an insult? please help


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Posted by Lori (152.163.252.8) on May 29, 2003 at 17:08:27:

In Reply to: Re: is this an insult? please help posted by minbari (171.75.241.43) on May 27, 2003 at 23:09:04:

Hi, Thanks so much. Your comments made me feel so much better! :) Now that i have had more time to digest all of this, i am beginning to feel compassion towards her. She is an older, very overweight single woman. There could be so many issues at work, ranging from envying him for losing weight, to fear of being alone, to the old school belief that the woman should fawn over the man.

Looking back, i think the thing that most upset me was that she was unwilling to listen to my point of view as to how it could be considered an insult. It was actually a big step for me to attempt such a discussion, rather than swallow what i considered an insult, as i usually do. (Thank you for acknowledging the healthy aspects of that. And for the nice words about my husband's willpower too!)

For her to completely disregard those efforts made me feel ignored and misunderstood. That might have been an even more major issue all along. I will never know if she reacted that way simply because she is incapable of complex thinking, or if she just stubbornly wanted to cling to her contention that it was not an insult. Sometimes i wish i had a more simplistic view of things, and that everything didn't have to contain layers of meaning. But only sometimes!! :)


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