Posted by Redsky803 (126.96.36.199) on May 29, 2003 at 21:46:31:
In Reply to: I'm a hopeless romantic, and it's making life hard posted by Don't Dream It's Over (188.8.131.52) on May 28, 2003 at 09:41:05:
I'm exactly the same way. I'm a 4w5/5w4 and I've always fallen hard for women. Sometimes I become infatuated with women whom I've never even spoken to. There was a girl in one of my college classes who I never spoke to in my life, yet I felt amazingly drawn to her. Over the next few weeks, my thoughts about her grew even more unrealistic (what it would be like dating her after a year, marriage, or even kids). I become totally irrational and I have to catch myself. I've done this many times before, and when I am involved in a relationship, I lose track of everything else and I focus on the woman I'm dating. Last year, I decided that this is not doing me any good, because usually, the women I fall for aren't the women that I thought they were. As of now, I fight off the urges and I've been doing well so far. When I go to parties, I usually want to hook up with someone, but I maintain this state of non-connectedness with the opposite sex. It generally helps a lot, but sometimes I always spot someone who I can't stop focusing on for the night. All I have to tell you is have will power. Having mental power over yourself is, in itself, empowering. Just keep telling yourself "it doesn't matter, it doesn't matter". I hate to say it, but try the mindset "I'm good, almost too good for anyone", but don't outwardly express it. You don't want people thinking you're stuck up. and DON'T let this thought start to change your real thoughts, thus becoming arrogant. This works for me, and I feel overly better because of it (it will take awhile to start working). Besides, you're a four; the quest for love is always more satisfying than actually having it. You'll find someone, but just quell your desires with your imagination for the time being and realize that reality is just reality and that anything is possible in your head.
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