Posted by minbari (184.108.40.206) on May 30, 2003 at 10:56:31:
In Reply to: Re: trying my best to destroy the treasure posted by raz62 (220.127.116.11) on May 30, 2003 at 09:02:42:
feeling like I can learn to work through something rather than just walk off.
And I've been where you are in the job thing, too, don't worry. You're right...everything you said...relationships and the job, not a lot of difference in many ways.
I can't just walk off from a relationship where this person is a real person. I really love her and I want things to be worked through. I don't want to never see her again...
Did I mention I am having to read "Women who love too much"? Have you read it?
> well I see that we both obsess over things rather than just reaching a point where we decide, this is not healthy for me anymore and I'm getting out of it.
> I have done this with both relationships and jobs. I'm a 4/3, social variant first, so that's why I get in a state over my work similar to the one you are in with your relationship, even though status in the work world and intimate relationships are very very different things, it's still that unhealthy stewing over every little thing and thinking that "well maybe I should try this . . . " . . ." . . .or that . . ." ". . .or maybe not . . ." --
> I know you have probably thought about moving out and getting your own place. That's the only way to out real distance ("space") there. Living with someone and trying to cut off communications at the same time never ever worked for me.
> I think this person has made it clear that she is not going to give you the kind of relationship you want. I can relate because my job has made it clear that they are re-classifying me as some secreterial support staff crap -- I was left off a memo distribution list yesterday for something that is MY TURF. Instead, my co-worker, the senior editor, who was on the list, had to come and tell me about it. And I was left out of a golf event going on today -- I HATE golf, but everyone who is anyone was invited even if they don't care for golf. And my requests to be reclassified as "exempt" have not been answered and I'm afraid to get the answer. BECAUSE I FIND IT HARD TO BE PHONY AND SHOW UP HERE AND KEEP WORKING WHEN THEY HAVE REALLY DEMOTED ME. I have to get another job! But I want to get vested here first! That's what pisses me off . . .
> So sorry, back to your situation -- what do you have to lose by getting your own room and looking for a new relationship?
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