Posted by cj (126.96.36.199) on May 31, 2003 at 08:48:01:
In Reply to: cj, how can I live in your words? posted by minbari (188.8.131.52) on May 30, 2003 at 11:01:28:
I guess I sort of jumped into this situation without knowing that much about you, and so it is hard to fashion a good reply. I guess when I feel overly obsessed with a person or a situation I work very hard to consciously focus on calming myself and evaluating my priorities. If it is a close personal relationship that is at stake, I think respect is the most important factor...so I try and respect what it is that the other person wants. Giving another person space can be difficult, but if you really want to build the relationship in the longterm, showing good judgment and respecting the other person's wishes, even if they are contrary to what your selfish "needy" side is telling you, will benefit both of you in the end.
In work situations I try and again, evaluate priorities (is my ego the priority? is maintaining a good relationship with someone at work the priority?) and then work through it that way. I do this because I have very little desire to impress people I don't respect, and I almost never worry enough what people will think of me...so I have to really intellectualize conflicts. I am not a "people pleaser" in any way, and have always prided myself for being utterly unlike everyone else, well, that doesn't serve one in the "real world" very well.
Did this help or am I just rambling?
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