Posted by raz62 (22.214.171.124) on June 04, 2003 at 08:29:43:
In Reply to: ...Margaret...? posted by minbari (126.96.36.199) on June 03, 2003 at 21:28:55:
Margaret, I am concerned for you, too. It seems that these people you work with have something definite against you. I try to separate "valid issues that others may have against me" from "people treating me like sh!t for no reason other than all of my "Four" stuff (being unconventional, suffering from depression, etc." Now, if there is no specific reason that these people treat you badly, you need to keep telling yourself that they are the problem, not you, and here's the hard part: how to take care of yourself properly when you're financially dependent on this job for now.
It feels TERRIBLE to be at a workplace and have no one to talk to. I hope that when you come on here it helps a bit, but I think you need more than that. Do you have a licensed mental health practitioner (psychologist, social worker, psychiatrist) or even a regular medical doctor who can determine with you if you need a break to recover, calling your condition "depression" or "anxiety disorder"? I am on Xanax for anxiety but have avoided using any kind of mental health excuse at my current job for more than three years now; I've been fortunate to pull myself through somehow. But in the past, I have taken a leave from my former part-time job for post-partum depression and put myself into the psychiatric hospital for 8 days. Then I resumed work there successfully for a few more years. Now your situation is not the same, but you do sound like you are going through some kind of panic/social anxiety (along with anger at the rudeness . . .)
I can't stand them talking to you like that!
In my case, I sent the email to the acting director and he was very nice and said I could come to the meeting and that he made an oversight on his email list. Probably half true. I think he's a Type 3 and wants everyone to like him so he's usually diplomatic and I suspect that he probably secretly thinks of me as a lowly clerical worker, but also works out compromises, so I just have to keep on him. The former director was quite opposite, an 8/7 I believe, he treated my position as very important on the one hand, but he was a completely unyielding bastard on the other! So with the old guy I got respect but had to take a sh!tty salary whether I liked it or not, he was not a compromising kind of guy. This new guy might give a bit more money if I am persistent in reminding him at crucial times (bonus times).
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