Posted by Margaret (22.214.171.124) on June 09, 2003 at 19:10:55:
In Reply to: Especially for Social variants posted by raz62 (126.96.36.199) on June 06, 2003 at 09:13:19:
****Raz, no. That's not it. I can tell you now, that's not what they're thinking. I know this for a fact. I found out for myself actually. Out of curiousity and this long-held 'fantasy-dream' of working for top rich people in the world, I left the midwest and went to NYC and manuervered my way into working with the top tier bulge bracket invstmt bankers and traders in NYC, the ones whose names are in papers, and although only for a short time, it was at least long enough to learn, and although it may seem like your perspective from the outside, after these number of short stints working side by side with them, as well as becoming an actual loan officer later on, I have learned one thing, and that is, that that's not what they're thinking.
I can tell you now, what they're thinking is more like this, "Dang, all these customers ever do is say how lousy my offer is, how much better my competitors can do, how they think my fees, prices, rates are always too high, and how much of a joke my service is, and how they don't need me, unless I can come up with a better offer, which is never satisfactory for them. Meanwhile, everyday, I don't know if I can keep my seat in this high turn-over world of finance, everyday I don't know if I have a job, everyday, I never know who will cancel on me and who will reject me, who or what will fall out of my pipeline next, because it's always someone, somewhere."
AND they're not thinking "gee, I'm so much better than Raz, I'm too good to talk to her." They're thinking this, "my gosh, that beautiful chick, she's so pretty, she looks like she's in her twenty's, I can't even look at her though, because I don't want her to find out how all day I am constantly being undercut and rejected by 90% of my customers all the time. That would be humiliating. I hope she *never* finds out."
AND that receptionist girl, the one you said they were 'friendly' too, although possible, I doubt most likely she ever 'put out', here's more likely the case of what she 'talks' to them about, " don't let those jerks (ie, customers 'Ron' and 'Jack') get to you, that XYZ competitor company they talk about has such crappy rates/prodcuts/service, they could never do what you (or 'we') could. I can't believe they can't see that. They must be idiots."
Most likely, she's just good at empathizing with them. And when you're on the spot like that, with high pressure to perform, and little hope to get more prfoit in, and constantly on the verge of 'losing your seat/desk/job', the last thing you want is to let anyone else who is not experiencing the same thing with you is to know what you're going through, your self- doubts, feeling constantly let down, etc. and the most likely favorable thing you want is someone who not only empathises with you and puts theirself in your shoes, but also lets you know you're still okay, regardless of their 'performance', because we're all just mere human mortals, and at the end of the day, it's not the market, it's not the products, it's not the customers, that matter, it's you, as a human being, just being you, because you're human, and that's all.
> My God, if all of you Soc/sx/sps could sit with me and mock the people I work with.
> I am tired of sitting here alone, but out of an entire department of 21 people, I am isolated. 95% of the interactions are based on economic status -- literally, most of the people who make over $100,000 will look right through me (or run right over me) and then so enthusiastically greet and chat with another six-figure earner. I just want to stop them and ask, excuse me, but didn't anyone ever teach you something called GOOD MANNERS? Then we have the wannabe crew -- I literally had this young woman stand in front of my office door yesterday and call out to people (not me), "are you coming after work? how about her, is she? Oh I just invited the intern!" then she walked away. I'd like to do more than just close my door -- I want her to know that she is an ignorant bitch.
> I'm f-----g tired of leaving my family every morning and coming here for the paycheck but then being isolated socially. I have initiated get-togethers -- a lunch on St Patrick's Day -- I've also gone out when invited. This is a Social variant thing as much as a Four thing. It kicks up high school memories where I was rudely ostracized and I have had fantasies of confronting all of those girls who treated me so badly -- well, now I CAN confront people who treat me badly here and get it out of my system . . . hey, I'll let you know what happens.
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