Posted by kittykats8 (220.127.116.11) on June 10, 2003 at 02:58:35:
In Reply to: Re: Especially for Social variants -- More posted by raz62 (18.104.22.168) on June 09, 2003 at 07:55:17:
> > > > I have to add that I'm not against elitism (being choosy about who is "in" vs. who is "out"), it's just that my ideas of "who is worthy of socializing with vs. those whom I avoid" is SO DIFFERENT than the "norm" of this place.
> > > > People who have all of the intellectual, emotional, and moral development of a sea kelp are to be avoided -- or maybe instructed if I'm in a generous mood -- but here the ambitious sea kelps are snubbing people like me. And I want to tell them off!
> > Oops! Now, here's my comment -- Sounds like you may be dealing with some average to unhealthy 3's, who can be very shallow, narcissistic, outer-directed, AND NOT IN TOUCH WITH THEIR FEELINGS -- LET ALONE YOURS! You sound very frustrated at not being accepted (and included) for who you are and I can empathize. When I feel as you do I remind myself that these types typically surround themselves with others OF THE SAME TYPE and if I can't relate to them - and what they stand for (their own inner emptiness), then I'm better off NOT being included. Remember, of all 9 types, 4's have the richest inner life and you are way ahead of their game on an emotional level! Let them be for who they are. You can tell them how you feel, but don't expect them to change. They will have absolutely NO idea of where you are coming from! Is it retorical to suggest a job change to a less toxic environment? In any case use the 4 desire to understand and be understood and look up type 3. May your resulting enlightenment be a source of compassion!
> >>>>>raz response: what is so ironic is that I have a very strong 3 wing -- in fact, I might be one of those 50/50 cases of 4/3 or 3/4. I test almost even on 4 and 3 on many E tests, and I also test almost even on the "T" and the "F" of the MBTI (I call it INXP). I would guess that this office is dominated by 3/2s, self pres first. Yes, they are shallow and selfish and don't see beyond the 2 inches in front of them. I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!!!!!!
I was guessing you might be a 4 with a 3 wing. Me too! (MBTI: INFJ) It's that 3 in us that can make not being included in the 'right circles' (or just plain not included period!) distressing. I also understand how frustrating 3's can be, although they differ. Their denial and lack of depth/being in touch with their feelings drives me crazy. Personally, I can see right through them and because I have a 'zero tolerance' for the characteristics they can embody, just keep moving. Hang in there!
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