Posted by P (22.214.171.124) on June 11, 2003 at 08:32:39:
In Reply to: anger and self-preservation posted by Rho (126.96.36.199) on June 11, 2003 at 07:07:05:
> I've been going thru this thing about anger lately. I think it is a real problem, perhaps the big problem for the self preservaional type.
> If we could direct our anger effectively at those who are violating our boundaries, we would be stronger, but we would take less advantage of us, becuase the would just know not too mess.
> I can do this at work - tell people not to mess with me. I cant do it in social or intimate relationships. Those are relationsh of choice, I figger, people will just choose to leave me.
***Are you a nine? I am a 6 and lately having problems with boundary perceptions. If I am so called counterphobic then people say I am too forceful and blunt. It also drains a lot out of me and makes me stressed. On the other hand no-one hurts me, instead they are hurt if deserving.
If I am so called phobic then people say I am too passive and in fact get taken advantage of by others. I am relaxed and go with the flow but end up getting overpowered by preditory personalities.
I know this sounds like classic 6 stuff and its embarrasing to see the dilema so strongly in oneself, however that is the current situation. I experience this dilema recently and with strangers/contacts outside of people I am close to. In fact its good to be phobic and passive among family and friends and counterphobic public persona.
I guess I can balance the two together and what become a one or five?
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