Posted by TheBlob (126.96.36.199) on June 16, 2003 at 15:22:19:
Most Traumatic Experience #2
They had just celebrated my 40th BD in the office with a cake. This was September 2002, only three months after the senior editor leaving and my not getting any promotion (That was most traumatic experience #1). After the meeting of the entire department, the boss invited us all out for drinks afterward, not for my birthday, just general socializing. Still, I expected to get a lot of attention and to have some FUN. I was even going to drink a rum and coke, and I rarely drink.
Well I went with my 25 yr old friend who is very pretty. But I would not say that she is prettier than me. Maybe I’m delusional or conceited, but she is not prettier than me. But obviously the 3 guys who went over to the bar with us did not see it that way – AND ALL OF THEM WERE OLDER THAN ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s what pisses me off – I would naturally expect guys younger than me to maybe not know how to deal with me except as nice big sister or something. BUT THESE FUCKERS WERE OLDER THAN ME.
We got to the bar and the 4 of them – the 3 guys and my friends—started talking about sexual things and body piercing and tattooes. I tried to join in a couple of times, for instance, one of them mentioned going to a Dead concert and I had been to one so I could have discussed that – and they just fucking blew me off. Then one of the guys – our BOSS, a 56 yr old – asked my friend to go to the Rolling Stones concert with him. Errr, uhhh, what about me? DO I EVEN FUCKING EXIST HERE?!?!?!??!!??!?!
This incident really really blew my mind. I would search in the mirror trying to figure out why I was so thoroughly rejected – I swear to God, nothing like this had ever happened to me before. I had always been shy and quiet but always men talked to me and paid attention to me. I was never so insulted in my life. I told the other women on the support staff what had happened and they were like, “Oh, they respect you too much to talk to you like that, and they respect your husband too much to ask you to a concert” . . . well why the hell didn’t they arrange a double date or something? (The other girl’s husband was over in Bosnia, in the service).
The pain of both incidents – and the RAGE – it still is in my life, and I want to get rid of it.
Getting another job would be a good start.
As far as confronting the people involved, I don’t know about that.
Now I think of myself as a big BLOB.
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