Posted by The4Blob (184.108.40.206) on July 01, 2003 at 09:21:09:
In Reply to: Re: The 10th Type -- Type ZERO posted by Damian (220.127.116.11) on June 28, 2003 at 00:44:05:
> I know what you're talking about. At every job I have, I feel like an outsider. I question myself and wonder if it is my fault, and I try to see things from the perspective of other people. It's not that I can't relate to other people, it's that I'm just plain different from most people I work with. I don't fit into the norm. So I conclude that there's really nothing I can do about it. It takes too much energy to try to get people to like me, to be social all the time. It also takes too much energy to wish I was a part of the group, a part of their group, because when I do that I wish I was something I am not. Right now I'm just trying to concentrate on fulfilling myself. I am currently a university student working on my philosophy degree and am an aspiring writer. I just have to remember that these things are parts of who I am, and even if it makes me different from other people, if it sets me apart, I still have to pursue these interest, because if I do not, then I will never be the happy human being I could be. I call these things passions. Passions and values. These are the most important things, I think, to bear in mind in our daily lives.
>>>>>>>Yes, I am trying to follow my heart even if it is lonely. I took yesterday off and had a strange and beautiful day that confirmed that I am an ok person who can be happy and love life and I have people who love me too (spent much of day with husband and son). I am now at work again and the coldness is still here -- it's insane how I can go from one environment where people love and value me, and where my husband says how attractive I am (and shows it in how he treats me), to another environment where the "important" people are all jolly and admiring of each other and completely ignore me, and then the men gawk at a young lady with the body of a 99 lb. 13-yr-old and don't even notice I exist. It is completely utterly insane -- yet I experience it EVERY SINGLE DAY THAT I WORK. When I do quit, I want to tell them that it wasn't just because they would not give me a raise even as they threw hundreds of thousands of dollars at their "important" people -- it was also the disgustiing social isolation, the manners of swine I was subjected to every day.
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