Posted by Val (22.214.171.124) on July 20, 2003 at 21:11:34:
In Reply to: Re: am I a 4 or 5? posted by schrips (126.96.36.199) on July 20, 2003 at 18:33:25:
> Hah...no I'm definitely not a 7. I do have ADD, but not all the other personality attributes. The book I have is Understanding the enneagram: a practical guide to personality types by Riso and Hudson. I'm REALLY starting to think I'm a four, however. It's funny b/c I was interesting in MBTI for a while and when I figured out my type, it just hit me like a hammer. I was like, Oh my god, how could this describe me so well?!. But I thought I was a 5 in the enneagram and it just never felt completely right. It was like I could just check things off on a list and say, ok...this one has the most points, so there we go. But it never struck me with the same intensity. I've been going over in my head my motivations for doing all the various things in my life from a 4 pov, and struck with the same "oh my god" feeling.
> My interest in science I think was the thing that always seemed to throw the vote in with 5...but when I really think about it, my interest is motivated as a 4. IE, I think biology is absolutely beautiful. I"m constantly in awe of the way life unfolds. But I'm bored to death by physics, organic chemistry....all the "hard" science (as much as I hate how that term implies that biology/ecology/psychology are easy and for less intelligent people)...it just doesn't have the same fire for me. On the other hand, my brother (who i think is a 6w5) loves physics and math and in general just thinks much more linearly.
> My interest in movies, music, etc is stereotypically four-ish. I still listen to all kinds of angsty music (nirvana, tool, counting crows, smashing pumpkins) even though most my friends are like, haha silly teenage angst music, i'm oh so grownup and happy now. I always pick out strange movies about rebels and outsiders---so much so that I'm not trusted to go to the video store by myself b/c no one else enjoys my choices. :) I'm incredibly critical of myself...and am always attracted to people who I think couldn't care less about me. If people actually like me...I think they must be dopes.
> I also think I pride myself in my intelligence b/c it makes me different, not because I think it will protect me against the world or anything. My senior year of high school, I got a 1600 on the SATs and everyone started calling me 1600, walking encyclopedia, etc. And I was really hurt...but I think a 5 would be flattered, or at least indifferent. I felt rejected b/c they had robbed me of my humanity by equating me with an inanimate object, something dead and without emotion.
v: Heh. I like you already. ;) Lots of similarities. I'm not a 1600, but I know the feeling of being ostracized and teased about smarts. I alternated between being depressed about it and being defiantly special. I can play the nerd role to the hilt. I was in that mindset when I picked my major for college, Engineering. Very elite. I even wanted to go to an elite school. Duke. WashU. I don't want to be seen as just a brain anymore. It was really annoying always being teased for that, always having that separation held up so I couldn't just be friends and talk to people on an equal level. Eh. Enough social subtype woes. Problem solved by hanging around with fellow dorks. :)
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