Posted by Nike proponent (18.104.22.168) on July 24, 2003 at 00:21:40:
In Reply to: Re: shyness vs introversion posted by Lakhesis (22.214.171.124) on July 23, 2003 at 23:18:05:
Large topic for MBTI introverts and Enneagram "withdrawing" types (4,5,9.)
I believe that PET scans of "shy" people are different from "non-shy" people. The glucose activity is different in identifiable brain areas/activities. My humble opinion is that nature and nurture are
the determinants of how "adaptive" shyness and introspection are. I
suspect that the two (shy, intro) are co-variables and not the exact
same attribute. Years ago, I participated with Phillip Zimbardo in
"shyness" workshops. Much later I participated in other shyness
workshops. In all workshops I learned "adaptive behavior," that is, I
learned how to act "as if." This is akin to a gay person learning how
to act "straight" (IMO.) If "shyness" is problematic in one's life,
I suggest that it be approached in a manner like stuttering, or snoring.
It happens; treatment modalities exist. Educate yourself and seek out
assistance in obviating the difficult aspects of the hand nature has dealt
you. Ultimately, acceptance is a cornerstone in dealing with shyness.
Relaxation therapy can help if social phobia, panic attacks are involved.
Early childhood abuse may (MAY) be a factor in some personal histories.
Start with Zimbardo. Learn your MBTI and Ennneaagram type. Find a therapist. Do enough work to satisfy your needs. Take meds if indicated.
Many, many well known, happy, content, successful individuals are living
testimonies to the fact that shyness and introversion are evolutionarily
succesfull strategies. What are the symptoms that paralyse you? Learn how
to obviate them. In my case I had hyperhydrosis (Anxiety sweating) and
smelled putrid. It turned out that "smelling bad" was my concern. Sweating
was acceptable, albeit annoyng. Prescription soaps stopped the odor. My
athleticism explained the wetness. I was able to accept athletic when I
was paralysed by "unbathed, pariah." Summary: If you are an E-type
4,5,9, consider how that type plays into being shy and being "stuck."
learn how to advocate for yourself and overcome/obviate your circumstances. Doing so will run counter to your grain: 5s need external
involvement , 4s need self reliance, 9s need to assert themselves. Focus
on E-motivation; how does it hold you back? What about E-6s: fear is
not shyness; it is fear. Shyness is adaptive up to a point and limiting
beyond. It is like baldness; learn about it, and then deal with it.
A fuller life with other constraints lies beyond the initial concerns.
I met my wife through a shyness workshop. She said, "you're not shy."
I said, "I am not shy about sex; I am socially ill-at-ease." She said,
"Oh, aren't we all?" She also said, "I love the way you smell." Go figure!
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