Posted by emoot(: (220.127.116.11) on July 26, 2003 at 09:39:52:
In Reply to: Re: Intimacy Issues posted by Pharaoh (18.104.22.168) on July 25, 2003 at 20:35:10:
> "But, you guys met in cyberspace and that is where your comfort zone is."
> She seems to get along with me just fine! She says when she feels as though she knows someone she can get along with them. With me however, seeing someone in person is different, I think it's me that keeps the wall up.
> I really like your advice, that's what I've been thinking. I just need to learn to be comfortable around her. I think seeing her day to day is helping. I've been noticing a small improvement. Right now I'm working on being able to joke around and be the silly person that I really am. I'm all serious like, most of the time right now.
=Yeah, I figured the wall was probably more of your thing. Funny thing about that wall..... I have it with everyone new that I meet. After I got married and moved away from my college friends, it took me forever to find new friends.....
(You know the wall actually has a name in Meyers Briggs lingo....
if you are an INFP..... it's your iNtuition that feels out new situations, so the wall mode is actually a very serious information gathering process. Once it gets enough info.... your less serious, funny side will show through (mainly your decision maker, Feelings).
If I see people everyday...... it takes me about a month or so to warm up to them.
If I see people like once a week it can take 3-6 months before I feel I can be my real self.
> When I get my courage up enough I'll ask her to go on that walk with me! I've been thinking of asking her to go to the park, I can't quite make the words come out though. I don't want to rush anything though (taking mental note of that) as much as I keep telling myself that I do. Thanks for the advice :)
= Excellent, good luck!
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