Posted by Val (188.8.131.52) on August 06, 2003 at 07:31:32:
In Reply to: Re: Intimidation and 4's posted by Stephanie (184.108.40.206) on August 03, 2003 at 22:40:09:
> > How many of you feel intimidated by people more assertive or bolder than you, and what do u do, when people sense this uneasiness and play the intimidator to make themselves feel that they're better?
> My sister in law used to intimidate me SO MUCH!! My heart would start pounding everytime I saw her, or heard her voice. Now, I don't care and I've learned to stand up for myself. The way that I stand up for myself is by NOT REACTING. They just want a reaction, if you give it to them, they love it! If you don't, you've proved your point and they will go crazy! Don't give them any room to use anything against you. Don't be rude, crude or fight back. Just totally ignore them. Silence is the most cruel of them all. Oh, and just think to yourself, they are that way because they are trying to hide their authentic self. Just give them the silent treatment. If you have to talk to them, just answer like a robot. Yes, no, ok. I don't know. It takes some practice but you can do it. Act like they are beneath you, almost act like your disgusted by being in the same room with them. You are too good for them. Don't show them your feelings. Don't let them know you, your thoughts, feelings, secrets etc. They could use anything against you. You just think to yourself when you see them or talk to them, I spit on you. Walk with your head up, and like you are the best. If you have to talk to them, like I said, answer only what is asked, no more. Give them no power.
**I agree with most of that, but it's sort of my natural defense mechanism, not something I have to work at. I mean not showing my feelings b/c people could use them against me. I don't think "I spit on you" or walk with head up high. I've always stared at the ground and played the "nobody" card. There's some safety in being invisible. When people initially try to push me, I'm nonresponsive. If they persist and try to attack in some way, demanding a response, I get angry because I think here I am minding my own business trying to be nice and they're treating me like dirt. And if they can treat me like dirt, they must think they can just walk all over "nice" people who haven't done anything to them.
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