Posted by Dee (188.8.131.52) on August 16, 2003 at 23:51:23:
In Reply to: work sucks posted by schrips (184.108.40.206) on August 16, 2003 at 15:29:36:
> Well, I'm back. These past two weeks have absolutely sucked ass, and I've had no patience even to sit at my computer and talk to all you folks. Instead, I chose the infinitely more healthy alternative of illegal substances. ;) Anyway, I nearly quit my job on thursday I was so pissed off... Argh...typical ADD impulsivity combined with overwhelming 4 emotions. But it feels so GOOD to quit a job like that...
> I keep getting jerked around at this job, though. I worked here a couple summers ago, and when I left they told me that if I came back to work for them again, I would get the landscaping crew supervisor position (more money plus somehting to write on my resume). That plus my ability to set this job up while I was still going to school in colorado (i'm now in washington) was the ONLY reason I came back. They actively led me to beleive I was going to get the supervisor position when I talked to them a few months ago (can you drive a stick? Can you drive with a trailor? etc. Only the supervisor drives). Not until the first day I came to work was I informed that I was getting the temp worker position that I had before. Even when I filled in for my supervisor when she was on vacation I didn't get the increase in wages for those days. After my temporary position is over, they intend to hire me for a permanent position (with benefits and all that). Then thursday I was called back because, oops...we told you your benefits were going to start september 1 but we were wrong. Now they probably won't start until november..but no one knows the exact date yet because everything is totally half-assed at this hell hole. I have to extend my short-term insurance coverage that I already bought to tide me over. That insurance is basically useless, very expensive crap. But it keeps me from having a lapse in coverage so that my next insurance company can't screw me over with that "pre-existing condition clause" b/c I have asthma and spend over $50 a month on prescriptions if they aren't covered. Argh!!!
> Admittedly, I tend to get pissed off at my employers because they seem to be taking advantage of everyone...putting profits before people. I think capitalism is totally fucked up, so I just get mad. But my mom (9) agrees that they are just taking advantage of their employees because they can right now...everyone I know that is working there would quit in a second if they could find another job...but they can't right now. The economy is especially bad here...washington has the second highest level of unemployment in the nation. And boeing just laid off a bunch of people again.
> And of course my dad had to push my buttons last night. Stop complaining, just get over it. I really, really hate him. he is a typical average 8...complete asshole. I got all pissed at him and stormed out of the house (I just can't be in the same room with someone I'm really mad at. My anger just seems to overwhelm me until I can't even function.) Then today he acts like nothing has happened and we are all goody-goody. When he finally could tell that I was still angry, he tries to make up by asking me if pinstriping would look good on my mom's car. Does anyone else get very irritated with 8s doing stuff like this? Even if he just said, "sorry I made you angry last night...but you've been complaining a lot lately and it just gets to me" I would be happy. But he seems to think that buying me material goods or asking my opinion on them will fill in for an emotional connection. I really wish I had enough money at the moment to move out, because living here is driving me crazy.
> Sorry for anyone who is sick of listening to fours complain, but apparently I can't do it around me family anymore. My mom provides a good ear, but my dad expects here to wait on him hand and foot whenever he is home (even though she has a full time job too) and she is all too willing to oblige ...and then complain about him later, but never have the balls to actually divorce him. God, my family is dysfunctional (and I haven't even started talking about my very unhealthy counterphobic 6 brother). Peace.
OUCH! I think the stuff we can't change but IMAGINE we can is the worst.
I hope you feel better after letting out the steam. Remember that your feeling don't define you, it's the feeling that you act on that do. The way you're acting is creating your problems (sorry to say) and as you can see by reading what you wrote, a whole lot of mess can turn into a mountain of shit so be aware of this and think twice about your actions.
The way your family is doesn't help matters but the only thing that can be changed in this is you. I sometimes get hysterical when I'm not being understood. I can literally freak out when things are going shitty. I have ADD too and am Type 4 (double wammy!) so I understand how hard the days can be, nevermind when things go wrong just the day itself can be a struggle for me. Don't be so hard on yourself when you get mad about things and remember that your feeling don't define who you are. This stuff you're going through is a temporary situation and will be over soon.
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