Posted by FourEver (220.127.116.11) on September 08, 2003 at 13:59:18:
In Reply to: Re: Duped posted by Raz62 (18.104.22.168) on September 08, 2003 at 12:06:08:
Sounds like my guy has the same fear, from what I can gather. Well, I'm meeting with him again later after work.
I saw him at lunch & it took me awhile to get around to it (overcome with emotion, I couldn't speak). Since I'd left him a voicemail last night telling him I needed to talk, he asked me if I wanted to then.
I told him I didn't know if I could coz I didn't want to get too upset and then turn around and have to go back to work. But told him he could feel free to talk(maybe that would warm me up) about what he felt we needed to talk about etc.
He ensued. He made some statement that I followed with(paraphrase) "I've told you that honesty is essential for me -- I need to be able to trust & when I don't have it, I feel .....". He started crying and followed up by saying how he felt (that he did what he had to to keep me in his life, he has issues with not feeling worthy, need to feel substantiated but doesn't know how to attain that, or something to that extent). Again, we're going to meet further tonight. I didn't get specific about it coz he started crying and just looked up at me all, well, not found out, but sorry and sad perhaps ashamed. He may not really know what I was talking about specifically, he just feels inadequate relationship-wise.
[I figure it's just a matter of (short) time before he finds someone who doesn't know his shortcomings and he'll look at me as a reminder that he's inadequate. I know the riggormarole.]
Side note: Yep, 15 years younger. Hot? Nah-uh:) . . . . there's more motivating young guys than just sex, amazingly enough. Maybe I'm being misled. . . . .I tend to attract people, romantically and otherwise, into my life that appreciate that I'm an ethical and decent sort of person. Unfortunately, most of them have been lacking in that department.
I appreciate the feedback.
Back to work!
> >mine said he lied because he thought I wouldn't date him if I knew he was only 19. (I guess your guy might have had the same fear)
> >I WAS quite upset about being lied to but still went on to a relationship with him.
> > I don't blame you if you drop him because of this. But I don't blame you either if, after you ask him, he admits he was sure you'd reject him if you knew his real age.
> >(BTW you must be pretty hot looking to attract men 15 yrs younger! Just a little levity for a serious situation.)
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