Posted by emoot(: (126.96.36.199) on September 19, 2003 at 10:44:14:
In Reply to: special posted by Hank (188.8.131.52) on September 19, 2003 at 04:41:32:
> It is commonly known that 2's often feel that they are special, different, and somehow exempt from the rules of society and the world. I have felt this way for a very long time. The thing is that life repeatedly hits me in the face with something telling me that this is not so. Life tells me that I am not in control, that I'm not as aware and past my problems as I thought I was, that things won't just work out for me on my terms. Things go great for a while, I end up feeling wonderful about myself and where my life is headed, and then it all comes crashing down.
> So why is it that I have this feeling that I'm so special and different? It just hit me this week. It's because people tell me that I am all the time! Even when it's about tasks or skills or aspects of who I am that I think I'm only average (or worse) at, I'm am repeatedly complimented. I hear that I'm a great musician, and have done an incredible job songwriting and performing; I do a great job at work, which comes with relatively little time and effort; I've done great things for my church and my community; I have such deep, accurate insights, and am a gifted spiritual seeker; I'm an outstanding writer and always have such valuable things to say...I hear all this and more on a regular basis.
> I am not posting this here to boost my own ego or to improve my image among people here--quite the opposite, I'm looking for other ways to see this problem. It seems to come from the 2's lack of and fixation on identity, but I wonder if other types experience the same thing, or something similar. I know that no one is immune to feeling good or bad based on what others (or life/God/the spirit) tells them in some form or another. But maybe it affects 2's more than some other types because, as I've found, we lack the spiritual foundation in who we are, our identity.
> I could probably go on about this, but I'll leave it at that for now and see if or how anyone else experiences this.
I don't know but from what you have said.... I get the feeling that you know, because you mentioned a spirituality about yourself, about the control thing. Control is a funny thing when it comes to the spiritual side of things..... often when we try to control things, it is from a very selfish point that we operate, sometimes even manipulating others and situations to fend off some irrational fear that we have not yet dealt with or even tried to look at within ourselves.
Ultimately when we control things in this manner we lose sight of what is real or important. Often repeating the same actions over and over expecting different results...but never getting anywhere and then feeling the enevitable failure.
If you are a person of faith... the only real control you have is your decision making ability to choose the road less traveled. Or in other words choosing truly what is good and loving.
If you think along the lines that I do, then you know that no human is perfect.... we all make mistakes. So how can we in our imperfection be perfect. .... We can't. So that's where I have to rely on something greater than myself. If I find my identity/purpose in that, then I understand that I can only accomplish life with the help of that greater power(in my case that means God). It is humbling but at the same time it strengthens me.
Everybody has a unique purpose(that's probably what your feel), and all it really amounts to is finding it along that less traveled path, and applying it to our daily lives.
along the path,
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