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Re: Seeking type 5 advice
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Re: Seeking type 5 advice


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Posted by FiveAlive (216.166.228.231) on September 08, 2003 at 13:17:19:

In Reply to: Seeking type 5 advice posted by FourEver (63.66.97.147) on September 08, 2003 at 10:42:57:

> Hi,

> I just found out last night that a guy I've been seeing for nearly 7 months lied to me about his age-- He's 5 years younger than I thought & nearly 15 years my junior. I *knew* he was hiding something from me from the get-go and I expressed it periodically with no results. Something smelled funny. Anyway, how would a type 5 approach confronting him? I don't want to get emotional, considering I have to deal with this in the middle of a workday.

> Looking for some phrasing advice. Thanks.[4w5]

Hmmm...well, I suppose how I would approach it (as a 5w4) would depend upon how I *felt* about it. I mean, my initial feeling is I probably wouldn't care too much if I found out someone I was seeing lied about their age a bit; I would assume they felt uncomfortable about it, that they wanted to get to know me and didn't want the age thing to be such an issue - that they'd rather I judge them as *themselves* rather than my presuppositions regarding age.

Then again, I might feel betrayed at having been lied to, particularly if I'd pressed them on that specific issue previously.

Either way, I would probably give them a sort of lawyer approach, trying to determine why they did what they did - what was their motivation? And I would directly speak to how it made me feel, especially if I felt betrayed, by saying things like, "Well now I just don't know if I can trust you about *any*thing! How can I take your word on things when you've demonstrated that you're perfectly comfortable lying to my face?"


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