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Re: 3 with 5- what are your thoughts or experience
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Re: 3 with 5- what are your thoughts or experience

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Posted by Primer Gray ( on February 17, 2003 at 19:40:23:

In Reply to: Re: 3 with 5- what are your thoughts or experiences posted by Pm Dawn ( on February 17, 2003 at 15:55:05:

> > I think it is times when I want to discuss "us" - you know, his perceptions of the relationship- defining it..I guess.

OH yeah...nothing like the old "I want to talk about our relationship" with someone that you aren't dating or married to....

Sometimes I get depressed that he never calls me or inititates anything.

Anything? Ever? If that's true, not so good...

Although I can tell he misses me or is jealous if I spend a lot of time with other friends. Or if I don't call him for a while he gets ticked. But he would never come right out and admit it- ever.

This point needs elaboration. How can you tell? Are you getting this from scanning your 5 friend's face, trying to tap emotions? Need to know how you can tell.

He is such a deep person and he is totally addicted to computer games, PS2, etc. Very technical interests. He has a very emotional side which he rarely shows- is never vulnerable but seems to like me to be. I guess the question I am asking is how can you even tell he cares? On a gut level I know he does- and he even told me so once (although it was about a year ago). If I ask for reassurance he's like remember our conversation?

Yeah, we fives don't like to repeat things like that. Once said, it's out there, ya know?

> And if I don't see him for a while cause he's real busy then I kinda freak out about it. It just seems to make him think I am an immature brat- which I guess I can be. I just would like to be less needy and get over him so to speak. I haven't ever had this kind of relationship with anyone else.

What kind of relationship? What exactly are the needs you are trying to meet through him?

I've had romantic involvements but not emotional friendships that were platonic. I once said- I miss you do you ever miss me? And he was like...sometimes. Any advice? I don't know how to get out of it. It's driving me crazy to stay in it. But if I don't see him I miss him.

Yes, we fives are irresistably aloof...lol.

> btw- we are both married and our spouses are friends. I met him through work 4 years ago although I no longer work with him. We see them every weekend to hang out. Maybe I just care about him more than I should. He has been the only person I could really talk to- ever.

I'm thinking that you only get this weird about it because he's not giving you the feedback you want. Think about it, isn't he more likely to talk to you when you're not pushing him for answers or anything? Like, if you don't talk to him for a couple weeks or something.

On the other hand, I sense there's something about this relationship history that you're not telling...

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