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Questioning my type
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Questioning my type


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Posted by Pulnimar (12.229.65.73) on April 08, 2003 at 20:19:04:

I'm screwed up at the moment; this is disorganized (and fairly long).

Type 1 Type 2 Type 3 Type 4 Type 5 Type 6 Type 7 Type 8 Type 9
2 -6 1 3 4 -2 -3 -2 3

I've second-guessed my type plenty of times (mbti and enneagram (though less on the enneagram)), and I do have difficulty in answering the questions (self-reflection as to my motivations and amdiguous wording).

SAT/ACT scores within/above 98%-ile composite (though I assume *some* people of all types would tend to score as high as me, so this is hardly defining)

I like hypothesizing and "asking questions"/making observations in the margins of books I read. These are rarely followed thru, though I will follow an intriging idea for a while.

I have this tremendous fear that I may be a 6 or a 9 who thinks he's a 5 (I'm biting my fingers now). Useless (from my perspective) -- I want space and immortality, not merging with people or defending a structure. I do have a hard time initially saying no, but I'll "hem and haw" and give a maybe instead of yes. When I say "yes", I try to follow thru. Unlike a 9 description I read a while ago, I don't tend to use stock phrases (because precision is important). I have eaten alot at times when despairing.

I don't particularly like to walk in nature (it's neat at times, but I usually consider it a waste of time, unless I'm exploring it). I do have trouble getting up in the morning, but this could partly be due to not sleeping enough. I do tend to fantasize (usu. not about the past) or read a book on the weekends (most of my books are Fantasy, then SF, then non-fiction (many of the non-fiction ones I've barely cracked)). I do have trouble with follow-thru in reading on subjects. I also have difficulty in throwing things away (5s seem to me as if they would be more apt to). I do tend to have the TV on fairly often, but usually as background (and turned off when I'm trying to concentrate). I do tend to "rescue" worms from the pavement (after rain). I'm never rude with people (except with my family or in a hurry-up type rudeness), as it'd scare me to be rude (what would their reaction be?).

I feel no connection with 2, 3, (4 doesn't fit as a main type), 6, 7 or 8 (though I'd like to be an 8 in power at times).

Compulsive spell checking (though easier on grammar, and I misspell "February" as "Febuary" (Hey, it's *my* language too, and it's shorter)), but I tend to be more "humorous" when pointing out other's mistakes (if I do so). This is the 1. So, am I just a confused 1 (I do notice some of the 1 traits)? -- Prob. not possible (a 1 wouldn't be thinking as fast as me, and wouldn't arrive to work late (flexible hours, so I'm ok)).

Like fantasy worlds (usually in which I have power (of the god-like sort), or end up dying (for some reason -- probably my fixation on mortality)).

Objectively, I'm self-centered (I've spent years obsessing about my type (on and off)). My boss is very pleased with my work, though I do tend to slack off (a vending route - just myself). Live with parents (cheaper), though I had no trouble leaving them when I hit college (tended to have friends there (from same floor)). I'm not interested in breaking the routine (it leaves me plenty of time away from the world and into my own things -- also, escape from anxiety (6?)).

It seems most 5s (or is it just the 5w6s?) tend to pick apart or question typological theories (I generally don't, unless I see something that really contradicts what I know -- though I did disbelieve the enneagram at first (was into mbti), as R&H used too much "spiritual" explanations and the ilk for me.).

I'm not great at learning languages (as I tend to become bored of them (no stick-to-it-iveness)). Part of this may have been my tendency to skim and cram (6s wouldn't be the types who skim books and notes, would they -- do 5s? I even do this with books I read for pleasure)

I commonly bite my fingers, get up and pace, etc.... Nervous reactions all.

My desires:

Since the age of ten, I've wanted unbounded* immortality (though I hadn't thought of it this way then), as I realized I'd never have enough time to do everything I'd want to in life (this would be looking to the future in Deras's system). I also realized *at the time* that the best years of my life were over when I left elem. school and headed into middle school (I no longer believe this, though it would be neat if my persona could travel back in time to that body and change things (ie. invest in berkshire)). (I consider this a realization of a loss of innocence (Peck, via Fergus Duniho's thesis) -- though it could also be obsession with the past, re: 9s)

* - Unbounded means the absence of boundary conditions (ie. A stake thru the heart would be a boundary condition for vampiric immortality), including the cessation of time/universe.

I would also like "sufficiently advanced technology" (to create the worlds I've imagined in my head/on paper), though this isn't nearly as important.

I suffered a nervous breakdown in college that derailed me from my biochem/mol. bio. ambitions (first step to immortality), which caused my shunt into the psychology (I read the DSM-IV)) and personality theory. (bit off more than I could chew & stress of the situation) When under stress, I do notice a tendency to try and form connections with people close to me, though I then counteract that and withdraw (usu. feeling some social embarrassment -- thinking of Tom Chou's diagram). Plotted to kill someone who was being purposefully obnoxious to me at this time (couldn't figure out a way it wouldn't be connected to me) -- I tended to the very formal when in his presence (Baron and Wagele on Self-P 6s "I can't help trying to be cordial, even when I'm angry with someone" - though I am looser with my parents and brother (I'll yell at or cajole them).


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