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Posted by B ( on May 06, 2003 at 12:47:09:

In Reply to: Re: 5's Relationship to Parents; Also Any Other Ty~ posted by Ann ( on May 05, 2003 at 14:50:59:

> I get along well with most of my family, but there's a certain barrier there- we're not particularly close. I'm a 5w4 INTP. My mom and I chatter on the phone fairly often (She's an INTJ 1w2), but we never actually touch on personal matters. My brother is an INTJ 9w1, and whenever we get on the phone, he never has much of anything to say to me. I try to avoid talking to my ISTJ 6w5 father because I can't relate to him. I also have a very old grandfather who is an INTP 5w4 like me, but two fives together creates a certain sense of coldness, even though we both care for each other.

> It can be frustrating to be a five because I have a desire to connect to other people but just can't seem to.

I think that is a central issue for most 5's: balancing the need for space and solitude with the desire for connection (social, romantic, etc.). And of course simply finding ways to interact can be quite challenging!

I recently met a 5w4 INTP and we have hit it off amazingly well. She showed me this 'Love Types' (MBTI) book that describes which types get on well together, and (according to the author at least), the female INTP is rarely satisfied in relationships, but does best with male INTJs (although there are a couple of other extravert options too). You might find aspects of the book useful; I did.

Thanks for the familial description. In comparing your and Iris' descriptions to mine and my girlfriend's experience, it seems the common thread is a sense of *distance* or separation, although this may manifest as simply emotional distance, rather than geographical and/or communicative distance.

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