Posted by Iris (188.8.131.52) on May 12, 2003 at 16:27:02:
In Reply to: Re: 5 and 7 relationships posted by Josie (184.108.40.206) on May 12, 2003 at 14:12:15:
> No offense, but I find the idea that a 19 year old can't start a beautiful, decades long romance with someone to be a bit offensive.
You're an adult now, even though you're still very young. You can start a successful relationship right now if you choose to. Being 19 doesn't make your love a disposible, fickle thing, neccessarily. And I know there are couples in their 80s and 90s who fell in love when they were between 16 and 25. Please, Iris, give yourself more credit, for the sake of 19 year olds everywhere! ;)
***** No offense taken. I've been surrounded by divorce in my family. Parents, two of my sisters' marriages, multiple cousins. It just seems like it's very hard to change along with yourself, let alone with another person as a couple. I would love a relationship that lasted years, but it feels too easy to grow apart these days. Anyways, I've been in love twice, and I'm still young. Anything is possible.
> Yes, the way you 5s are slow to get close to someone frustrates me. After 3-4 months, you knew you were in love, does that mean 3-4 months after you met him? I, as a 7, knew I was in love with my 5 within a week of knowing him. But then, I'm a 7, eh? ;) What behaviour did your guy exhibit that made you know you were loved in return? If you can help me with that, perhaps I can show my man that I love him more effectively. As it stands now, even though he's spending a lot of money with me and cuddling me a lot when we're alone together, I'm afraid to tell him that I love him because he hasn't said he loves me yet, and I'm afraid my telling him that I love him would feel like a burden on him as a 5. Please tell me what you think.
> > Your guy sounds fairly successful, and I'm wondering about his age?
> What makes him sound successful in the way I've described him? The fact that he travels around the world? Maybe that's a tipoff. ;) Yes, I guess he is. I'd tell you what he does for a living in a private e-mail if you'd like, but I don't want to reveal that here. I believe I revealed his age (oops) to a reply to one of Charlie's posts. I sure hope you won't be judgemental about our age gap. As it stands, my parents approve of my man throughly, and his family and friends like me, too. If anyone on this board has a problem with it, that won't affect the way either of us feel about each other.
***** As I'm not at all bothered by the age difference (I tend to go for older as well), I sincerely hope you won't be bothered to know my relationship with the 7 was with a female. We had been really close friends for 2 years when we got together in October. Also, it was a long distance relationship, a few hours apart, both in Canada.
It was the little things that showed I was loved, touches to the shoulder, kisses to the cheek, finding little notes in my bag, being woken up in the mornings by a phone call. I think I did fall in love much earlier than a few months, but it didn't fully hit me till a fight and I wondered how it would be to not have her anymore and I didn't want that to happen cause I was actually in love again.
> Can you express your feelings for someone when you're alone with them? That's what my 5 seems to do. It'd be good to tell people how you feel about them as soon as you figure it out, not knowing how you 5s feel is one of the problems those of us who aren't 5s have in relationships with you 5s.
***** Yep, it was always when we were alone, cuddling in bed together that I'd open up and talk.
> I think it's amazing how you 5s can be so incredibly articulate about astrophysics, Chinese history, and interpreting the works of Amedeo Modigliani, but when it comes to how you feel about other people, you 5s tend to stumble. "Ummmmm... oh... hmmmmm... I think you're a nice girl, ummm..." LOL
***** Haha! How true is that?! I would get into these bad moods where I wouldn't talk, but all I'd want in my head is to feel closer. I'd convince myself that if I was really wanted, she'd pick that up from the way I was being and hold me and try to get me to talk. It was always really hard for me to make the first move to get out whatever was on my mind.
> If you would never buy a gift for someone you don't like, should I see all of the gifts he's bought for me and how he's so willing to buy me a plane ticket form Canada to Florida and back, simply to see him as positive signs of him getting closer to loving me?
***** Definitely. We would get to see each other either a week a month, or two weekends a month. Sometimes I would buy her a return ticket to come up to see me if she couldn't afford it herself.
> Maybe you 5w4s are generally better with dealing with 'intimacy' than 5w6s. My guy's definately a grown-up who's seen a lot in his life, and I'm certainly not the first woman he's ever been with. But, when we're alone and in his bedroom, and he acts like he's sexually attracted to me, he still behaves like a little school boy when I try to initiate sex. What do you think about that? Maybe when he's known me a little longer, things will get better?
***** Haha so weird. During the first couple of months, I was so nervous and not used to a new touch that it felt like I was being tickled. When we became closer, things in the bedroom were more comfortable and satisfying.
> Thank you. I'll try to be as patient as I can. He's told me a lot about his life he wouldn't tell anyone else but a few select people, is that a good sign? How can I make it easier for him to feel more comfortable and closer to me?
***** I'd take that as a very good sign. I liked to tell little stories about stuff in my past that I was fond of. The best way I was able to open up, was when we were just sitting together in each other's arms, not being distracted by anything else but each other, when we could talk for hours, and it would feel like only minutes have passed.
Anyways, I hope I was of some help! I like coming here and seeing people describe a 5 they know, and yet it sounds like they're describing me. And I always love a good conversation.
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