Posted by Mike Judge (126.96.36.199) on May 19, 2003 at 08:15:51:
In Reply to: Re: J/P MBTI Observations in 5's posted by dos (188.8.131.52) on May 19, 2003 at 00:10:12:
TIME: I have noticed with my P that I am much more time-aware than she. I am prompt and always have a sense of time with regard to any plans or obligations, whereas she seems to be very nebulous in this area. Initially it was a problem because when I would say "I'll call you at 8" I would assume that meant that she would be expecting my call at that time, only to discover that she had gone out or something. I've come to realize that such scenarios are not an intentional slight (as they would be if *I* did them, since I could only miss a time-relative appointment on purpose!), but rather that she really is just not normally aware of time at all! I can adapt to this in many ways, but there are also many situations where I believe promptness and time-sensitivity are very important (air travel, job interviews, etc.). Is it possible or likely that a P will be adaptable, so that when 'necessary' they have the ability to be time-sensitive?
DECISIONS: After appropriate analysis of available data, I tend to make a decision and then pursue it, either until I achieve my aim or until some new circumstance arises to cause me to decide to change my course. She seems much more given to making a snap decision based upon her immediate appraisal of events, and then changing it arbitrarily upon further consideration. Is this common for P's? Again, we plan on pursuing compromise in this area, so that I can be less 'uptight' about unimportant decisions like weekend plans...but I would like to find a method by which we can arrive at bigger decisions together and have a sense of finality once the decision is made. Is it likely that a P could develop this ability in appropriate circumstances, and how might I facilitate that?
DEFINITIVENESS: Not a very elegant word...I mean the opposite of 'nebulous'. This is the word I use when I try to imagine what her awareness is like as compared to mine. For instance, when we read the same things or have conversations and then return to that topic at some later date, I tend to have a very concrete and specific recollection of the details, while she has a very nebulous, sort of free-wheeling one. Perhaps this is simply a difference in our degree of recall, but it seems to fit with the overall J/P variance. Do you have a detailed memory, or is it somewhat generalized? Anyway, assuming it is a J/P thing, what would you say is a beneficial way to approach compromise in this area, so that when appropriate we can agree on definite details that are apprehended and recalled specifically?
It may seem like I am trying to find ways to make her like myself, but that is not my intent. Rather, my purpose is to *understand* her, so that we can find ways to 'meet in the middle', so to speak, especially in areas which we agree upon as being important. In less significant matters I would frankly prefer to learn to be more like her!
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