Posted by Mr. Mistofelees (188.8.131.52) on May 21, 2003 at 10:44:15:
In Reply to: Re: Time, Decisions, Definitiveness posted by Hyperion (184.108.40.206) on May 19, 2003 at 15:55:21:
> * TIME: *
> As an INTP, I have little regard for time unless it is absolutely necessary. I don't even wear a wristwatch because I don't like to worry about time. Time may not even exist in reality. As far as I am concerned, it is just a human tool for keeping track of the past, present and future. It has more often than not, become a big cage that guide and limit our actions.
> Don't worry, your INTP is unlikely to miss critical time dependent events even though she might view time the way I do. I was always late for school, and always late for parties (which I rarely attend anyway) but I've never missed a flight yet.
***I'm a female INTP, 5w4, and I don't like to be late because of fear of the consequences, etc. I'm always late to class, meetings and other things I don't really consider necessary. However, when something is really important, I am on time. I wear a watch to make sure I can keep up with time restrictions placed on me by J types. I hate drawing attention to myself and having to face the consequences of being late. It's much easier for me to just be on time and be left alone.
> * DECISIONS: *
> INTPs need a ton of input before being satisfied with any decision. Being P, we are open-ended and we welcome even more inputs that may or may not change the decision. That means we rarely make snap decisions (unless except under stress, and the decision is made by our inferior but extraverted Feeling function) because there is usually not enough input in a given moment - or there are too many variables that need to be filtered and analyzed. So why does your INTP girl make snap decisions? - I would posit that such impulse maybe among the male-female variations which exists even among INTPs.
***I think I make snap decisions because I feel lost and unsatisfied with life and its direction. That is a very good idea of yours that this is caused by inferior extraverted feeling. It is very difficult for me to stay on track in any area, because I tend to get bored and unsatisfied pretty quickly. As soon as this terrible feeling sets in, I look around desperately for a way out, one that seems to offer more of something I have been looking for. I have definitely noticed some discrepancies in behavior between female/male INTPs. For example, most male INTPs I know are much more self-confident and sarcastic than the females of this type. Females seem to be more quiet and compliant because they don't want to rock the boat. I have very strong feelings that devour me at times, but my problem is in the area of expression. I always feel a little uncomfortable when emotions dominate a conversation.
> * DEFINITIVENESS: *
> I definitely remember most things generally with no specific details unless the details themselves are the gist of the recollection. Intuitive types as opposed to sensing types are better at looking at the forest instead of the trees, and the INTP is more interested in the essence of an experience rather than the details.
***Yes, this is very true of myself. There are a lot of times when I have an idea or concept going through my mind, but I cannot seem to think of the term or phrase that describes it succinctly. So then I am left fishing for words to only halfway capture the true essence of what I am trying to explain. This is why I could never teach!!
> I don't know how to answer your question about compromise in this area. You cannot force her or any person to remember something that their minds do not want to remember. Perhaps you should just accept that not everybody remember details as well as you do.
> * It may seem like I am trying to find ways to make her like myself, but that is not my intent. Rather, my purpose is to *understand* her, so that we can find ways to 'meet in the middle', so to speak, especially in areas which we agree upon as being important. In less significant matters I would frankly prefer to learn to be more like her! *
> What is significant for you may not be significant to your INTP (and vice versa). Perhaps you may want to share with her the things that are important to you (like promptness etc) and ask her what are important to her.
***Yes, if I am told by someone that they respect a certain form of behavior, like promptness, then I will thereafter be aware of that. I can only take a couple of these types of demands, however. Once the demands become too strong and consuming, I have a tendency to back away, to be alone where I can do things my way.
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