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Posted by Jewel (152.163.252.69) on June 16, 2003 at 13:58:14:

In Reply to: Re: 5w6--ISTJ--Virgo /I as a 7w6 am confused posted by DingBat (216.166.228.231) on June 16, 2003 at 12:25:32:

Thank you so much for your comments.

I did tell him that I adored him three times the last time we were together, he didnt say anything. I also told him he makes me feel joyful imside when we are together and that I savor our quiet times in one another's presence, that it wasnt always the doing things together but the being together.

Is this being very close and then moving away from me consistent with a fives behavior?


> As a 5w4, I would guess that he probably is into you, but since you are a 7 he probably assumes that your free-wheeling style means you are not into him. Of course it may be that he just isn't into you also...

> But, working from the assumption that he *is* into you, since you love him I would try to show him that. Try to be very attentive toward him for a week or something, be forward in wanting to be with him, get together with him. Don't interpret his apparent distance or vacillation for lack of interest; I imagine he is rather projecting his feelings onto your intentions (he assumes you can't possibly be interested in him and thus your 7-style is interpreted as your not being into him). Tell him not to take your behavior personally - your being able to run around doing things or hanging out with others doesn't mean you don't love him, but rather just that you are more extraverted.

> He probably secretly wished you'd have come over and shared the whole house-building experience with him, but was afraid you'd find it incredibly dull so never asked you out of fear of rejection or disappointment. So, if you want him, you must risk rejection yourself by being the aggressor in the situation as he seems too timid to do so. Maybe his aloof attempts to connect with you were the best he could muster. If you can open up verbally about how you feel about him in a heart-to-heart, maybe he will reciprocate.

> Let us know how it goes! Also, if he's not into the enneagram, learning that he's a 5 (and that you're a 7) might help you two relate.




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